BAJAN SUN
Bajan Sun Magazine
AUG 2014
WHEN OUR
IS BAD
By Denise J Charles
We all know that deep love and intimacy seal the
deal when it comes to longevity and commitment
in a relationship. We also know that relationships
suffer from a number of negative issues including
poor communication, inattention, infidelity, abuse,
boredom and this list can go on. What happens,
however, when the sex is really bad? Many
individuals may not mind complaining about a
cheating, abusive or disloyal spouse but how many
of us want to complain about bad sex? On a good
day, many of us adults who do have sex behave as
if we don't and even for those of us who do,
admitting that we're having problems in this area is
akin to acknowledging some type of adult failure;
or so we think.
I was made very aware of this sexual disconnect
among adults only too recently. While promoting
my book "How To Have Mind Blowing Sex
Without Losing Your Brain" it was amusing to
note the embarrassed stares, self-conscious giggles
or incredulous glances away from the book’s title
by a number of adults passing by. This of course
included married couples. It was obvious that in
spite of our society’s seeming openness about sex,
many adults are still uncomfortable confronting
their own sexuality. If some of us remain so deeply
embarrassed by sex, how then do we navigate the
turbulent waters of a sexual relationship where the
sex is bad with a capital B? Do some of us even
know what bad sex is? Are we even remotely in
touch with our own sexual needs and desires? Are
we informed by good sexuality education or are we
still
operating at the level of sexual myths and
conjecture?
If we're to specifically improve the quality of our
sexual relationship and if we're to enhance the