JAN 2015
Some of the primary expectations of males include:
1. An on-par sex drive or at least a willingness to
provide sex on demand
element of surprise in the relationship by initiating
something out of the ordinary. Preserving our sense of
sexual mystery even when we have been married for
several years is also an important part of keeping the
2. Sexual confidence and freedom from inhibition
3. A willingness to initiate sex and try new things
relationship fresh. That means not always doing what is
expected in the way it is expected. It also means
switching things up a bit, flipping the sexual script (for
4. An ability to forgive and forget his sexual
example abandoning the missionary position for a
indiscretions (as in his cheating if he does)
month), planning a sexy surprise and learning how to
be totally unpredictable. This can keep a man so much
5. A willingness to “praise the penis” or in other
words, assure him of his sexual prowess
6. A sexy body capable of basic gymnastic contortions
7. Fearlessness when it comes to talking sexy
These are not exhaustive by any means and may vary
depending on the personality, religious persuasion,
experience or socialization of the male. At any rate, I
think we can safely say that many men have a
wonderful sex ideal somewhat like this in their heads.
While there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to
on his toes that he doesn’t have the time to pine over
his sexual ideal. In fact we can become the new ideal
and every previous lover or present fantasy, can pale in
comparison.
To be fair in this discussion however the responsibility
for the balance of which I speak, should not lie solely
with us women. Men must be made aware that unlike
the days of yore, sex no longer revolves around them.
This satellite mentality is outdated and harmful to
relationships. It highlights how sexually selfish men
can be in expecting to have their every whim and fancy
please one’s partner sexually, a relationship is about
catered to at all times, regardless. Let's face it;
growth and development in all areas, including the
fantasizing about another woman can be lethal to a
bedroom. It can also become a little sticky when one
relationship. An unrealistic sexual ideal by which a
member of the couple -mainly the male- is setting all
man measures his partner can also spell death to his
the rules.
woman’s sexual confidence; especially after she’s
It is however not only important for a couple to grow
gained a few pounds from the baby or comes home
together sexually but there must be a delicate balance
chronically tired from work. A harsh and critical
between compromising to please and being allowed to
response to his partner which screams rejection, can
be one’s self. No man should force us to swing from
the chandeliers in some Tarzan suit if we’re afraid of
heights, simply because he likes jungle themes. At the
same time, as women, we can learn to preserve an
really seal the deal in deepening the levels of sexual
dissatisfaction in the relationship. In plain language, a
woman can’t get her sexy on if she believes she is no
longer sexy.
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