Autobiograpy Of Gnani Purush A.M.Patel Autobiograpy Of Gnani Purush A.M.Patel | Page 51

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Vakadavada’. Do we not have Desais of Vankdavada? They
too are very conceited.
If by some chance someone did not address me as
‘Ambalalbhai’, I would not be able to sleep at night. I would
be agitated the whole nightlong. Just imagine! What was I going
to gain from this? What sweet pleasure was I going to get out
of it? Can you imagine what kinds of self-interest people have?
There is absolutely no joy in such self-interest and yet even then
I had this fixation in my mind and that too because of societal
influence. People put me on a pedestal and they believed me to
be very important! Of what use to me are other people’s
impressions of me?
It is like this. When these cows and buffalos look at you
for a while and then wag their ears, does that mean that you
have to believe they are showing respect towards you? That is
exactly how everything is around you. We may believe in our
mind that people are looking upon us with admiration and awe
but in reality everyone is caught up in his or her own turmoil.
These poor people are caught up in their own worries, each
and evry one of them. Do you think they have time for you?
Ego That Gave Pleasure Became Painful
People around me looked upon me as being a very kind
and successful man. My business of contracts was successful;
wealth flowed back and forth to me. To them I was a very
caring man who showered love upon everyone. They even
considered me God like and thought of me as someone who
was extremely happy. And yet I constantly worried; there was
no end to my worries. One day my worries would not cease
and I could not fall asleep at night. I then sat down, took all my
worries, wrapped them up in a package, uttered a few mantras,
and stuck it between my two pillows and went to sleep. I fell
asleep soundly. The next morning I took the package and