Autobiograpy Of Gnani Purush A.M.Patel Autobiograpy Of Gnani Purush A.M.Patel | Page 49

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Just look at this! They are the ones who would break the law
and I would be the one to help them escape; hence I took the
liability upon myself. Why would I do all this? I used to do it
to gain false self-importance and pride. I would use my cleverness
and they in turn would escape. They gave me a lot of importance
but the liability of their actions fell on my shoulders. Later I
realized what liabilities I had taken on in my state of ignorance;
I did all that just for feeding my false pride.
Questioner : You discovered all that was to gain
importance. How did you destroy this false pride?
Dadashri : False pride cannot be destroyed. You can
lessen it but you cannot destroy it. How can one destroy it, if
he is the one who wants it in the first place? I somehow managed
to pass my days by reducing it.
That Ego Bothered Me Day My And Night
My intellect and my ego used to be very heavy. My older
brother was extremely egoistic but he had an impressive
personality. His personality was so powerful that people would
move out of his way the moment they saw him. His eyes were
very commanding and he had an imposing face. Even I feared
him. In spite of this he used to tell me, ‘I have never seen an
egoistic person like you.’ And yet he was the one I was afraid
of. Nevertheless he would tell me confidentially that he had not
met anyone with an ego like mine. Later on I truly saw that ego.
It was when that ego troubled me and made me suffer that I
realized what my brother was saying about my ego. I used to
say, ‘I don’t need anything’. I had no greed of any kind
whatsoever. So just imagine the kind of pride I had. If pride and
greed were evenly distributed within a person, his pride would
be considerably lesser. The ego was extreme because there
was no element of greed.