PERSONAL NARRATIVE
A Special Letter
to My Autistic Twin
By Mary Ann NAPPER
Mary Ann Napper’s twin brother, Johnny, was
autistic at a time when autism spectrum dis-
order (ASD) was not understood and rarely di-
agnosed. Too often children with autism were
institutionalized and not given a chance to
experience life. While there have been some
challenges over the years, Mary Ann and
Johnny share a special bond and feel blessed
to have one another. Their unique friendship
is reflected in Mary Ann’s letter written to her
brother.
Dear Johnny,
I
realized you were different when I started school
without you. That was in 1951, when you went to
a special school called the “Spastic Centre.”
I asked our mother why you were different. She
told me you were “mentally retarded” because
your brain had been damaged at birth due to lack
of oxygen. Since I was the first-born twin, I believed
for many years that I was the cause of your damaged
brain. Autism was not fully understood back then
and there were no treatment programs for the con-
dition.
Growing up with you had a significant impact on my
life. Throughout our childhood I harbored a subcon-
scious resentment for having a special needs twin, of
being deprived of the unique moments twins enjoy,
and of being expected to carry the responsibilities of
caring for you.
Even today, families feel stigmatized by their autis-
tic children’s behavior. Our family was no exception.
40 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 65
Our parents isolated us from the community and re-
stricted our social activities to visits with extended
family. I was embarrassed in public when you dam-
aged property or violated personal spaces. People
stared at us, disapproving your ritual and repetitive
behaviors particularly when you rolled your head,
rocked your body, flapped your hands, and banged
your head while making a monotonous sing-song
noise. Sometimes adults would say to our parents,
“Can’t you control your child? He needs to be in an
institution receiving proper care.”