Autism Parenting Magazine Issue 65(Member's Dashboard) | Page 15

PARENTAL ADVICE A New Autism Perspective: The Other Side of the Table By Angela CONRAD I’ve been on both sides of the table. I’ve been the professional telling you what your child can and cannot do. I’ve reviewed Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) and have felt the hurt from parents when they review the results. I have watched parents sit in IEP meetings, crying as professionals discussed their children. My heart has ached for you, and I have cried with you. However, I am now the parent hearing the words that hurt so much. I am now in the shoes that I once witnessed. Even though I have had a lot of sympathy for my student’s parents over the years, it just doesn’t even come close to experiencing the anguish myself. A s a special education teacher, I thought I had a good understanding of special needs in general. I recall sitting in my college cours- es, learning about all of the mild to severe disabilities, wondering what else I needed to know. I learned more and more each year from my amazing students in my classroom. What I didn’t know at the time was that I actually knew very little. Teaching children with special needs and raising them are two totally different journeys in life. I now have had the pleasure of experiencing both. If there is anything that I can pass along to all of the special education teachers and therapists, it would be to listen to your parents. They may not have a de- gree in their child’s disability, but they know more than any professional could ever begin to imagine. You don’t know the level of exhaustion your par- ents endure daily. You can’t even begin to imagine the heartache they experience daily watching their child struggle in a world that most definitely does not cater to special needs. The loneliness and isola- tion the parents feel daily is unimaginable. With that said, please be empathetic in your meetings with the parents. It is not easy listening to what you have to say about their child—I know that all too well. Think about their perspective, and have compassion. Each and every child has some spectacular talent. It is your job to find it and make sure you praise that tal- Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 65 | 15