That said, here’ s this week’ s grizzle.

Bloody forms. Bloody filling in bloody forms about stuff.

I step out of the car at the surgery and am hijacked before I can scurry to the building.

“ Doc! You got a second? Can I leave this form for you to sign? It’ s for the wife to get a hearing check. She saw you last week. You don’ t have to do it now.( Oh, thanks.) I’ ll pick it up later today if that’ s okay.”

A stronger person would say“ No”. Or“ Get nicked”. Or“ I am sorry, but your wife will need to make an

appointment in order for me to appropriately assess whether there is, in fact, any contraindication why she should not have a hearing test.”

Generally, I say none of these things. I mumble. I take the form. I try to do a bit of a glare. Then I head for the building.

“ About 3 o’ clock be okay, doc? I like your new car. Very nice.” In the corridor, the receptionist blocks my path.

“ Mrs Righteous has phoned twice about that letter to say what medication she is taking overseas. She said she spoke to you and you said you would do it. She leaves on Thursday.”

Mrs Righteous is going to the North Island of New Zealand and takes one perindopril

, and is convinced she will spend her remaining days in a cell, crowded with paedophiles and pickpockets if she is detected carrying and uncertified ACEI into the country. And so on. Forms to say someone

needs urgent access to phone repair if the lights go out; forms for disabled parking; to not be on the jury; to have a special room, chair, light, extra time and a cool flannel for the brow while they sit an exam.

And on.

Routine referrals:“ I was there last Monday and they said I need a new referral, dated before the 21st. I dunno why I need one. I’ ve been going there every six months for the past 10 years.”

Repeat scripts.

I MUMBLE. I TAKE THE FORM. I TRY TO DO A BIT OF A GLARE. THEN I HEAD FOR THE BUILDING.

Letters to health insurers to say gym attendance is an essential part of Mr Roid’ s health program. And on and on. Maybe it’ s just part of the gig. Some colleagues will be more assertive and demand attendance and billing for each form. Medicare is unlikely to be keen to pay for such administrative consults.

But some days are diamonds. ●

Dr Fogarty is a GP on the NSW Central Coast.