That said , here ’ s this week ’ s grizzle .

Bloody forms . Bloody filling in bloody forms about stuff .

I step out of the car at the surgery and am hijacked before I can scurry to the building .

“ Doc ! You got a second ? Can I leave this form for you to sign ? It ’ s for the wife to get a hearing check . She saw you last week . You don ’ t have to do it now . ( Oh , thanks .) I ’ ll pick it up later today if that ’ s okay .”

A stronger person would say “ No ”. Or “ Get nicked ”. Or “ I am sorry , but your wife will need to make an

appointment in order for me to appropriately assess whether there is , in fact , any contraindication why she should not have a hearing test .”

Generally , I say none of these things . I mumble . I take the form . I try to do a bit of a glare . Then I head for the building .

“ About 3 o ’ clock be okay , doc ? I like your new car . Very nice .” In the corridor , the receptionist blocks my path .

“ Mrs Righteous has phoned twice about that letter to say what medication she is taking overseas . She said she spoke to you and you said you would do it . She leaves on Thursday .”

Mrs Righteous is going to the North Island of New Zealand and takes one perindopril

, and is convinced she will spend her remaining days in a cell , crowded with paedophiles and pickpockets if she is detected carrying and uncertified ACEI into the country . And so on . Forms to say someone

needs urgent access to phone repair if the lights go out ; forms for disabled parking ; to not be on the jury ; to have a special room , chair , light , extra time and a cool flannel for the brow while they sit an exam .

And on .

Routine referrals : “ I was there last Monday and they said I need a new referral , dated before the 21st . I dunno why I need one . I ’ ve been going there every six months for the past 10 years .”

Repeat scripts .

I MUMBLE . I TAKE THE FORM . I TRY TO DO A BIT OF A GLARE . THEN I HEAD FOR THE BUILDING .

Letters to health insurers to say gym attendance is an essential part of Mr Roid ’ s health program . And on and on . Maybe it ’ s just part of the gig . Some colleagues will be more assertive and demand attendance and billing for each form . Medicare is unlikely to be keen to pay for such administrative consults .

But some days are diamonds . ●

Dr Fogarty is a GP on the NSW Central Coast .