GPS
11
Not exactly.
The problem you're having with your sister is that you have chosen the wrong goal. The reason you two are fighting all the time is that you put the wrong address in your GPS and you keep getting lost in the back alleys.
So let's look at that goal (or address, if you will).
Trying to make your sister submit to your point of view is an exercise in futility. Your think you want to go to the address, "1234 She Changes to Make Me Happy" Street. Let's see if we can tweak that destination a bit.
The only prerequisites here are that you approach this as an honest broker, open yourself to the possibility that it will work, and acknowledge that kindness trumps everything.
Trying to change your sister (or anyone) never works, and we've all got the scars to prove it. So what is it that you really want? Wanting to be one-up on her, or putting her in her place are all short term, back-alley destinations. The real destination is peace. So it's time to delete the wrong destination from your personal GPS and put in the new one. Characterize that goal using positive imagery and words.
Something like: My sister and I treat each other with respect.
Simple as that.
That's the destination.
Now - how do you get there?
This is the part where we plunge into a new way of living to reach our goals.
If you really want peace with your sister - wouldn't that be a nice change of pace? - first of all, just say so. State the goal.
Now, bear with me because if we're using back alley directions, we're already hitting a brick wall. Our minds are yelling, "We'll NEVER have peace! Have you lost your mind?? The minute I let my guard down, she'll pounce and we'll we wrestling in the psychological mud again, AND she'll have the upper hand! NO WAY! NOT GOING THERE! FORGET IT!"
Put that thought in the back seat, buckle it in, and get in the driver's seat.
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