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to strictly obey their husbands no matter what. It was okay to beat the hell out of your wife, if she deserved it. Children had to attend the school that was on the property of the church; it was a K-college school. They were never exposed to anyone outside of the church. Women could not wear sexy clothes. No one could tell risqué jokes. No drinking, no smoking...the list seemed to go on and on and on.
I started to think about ending my marriage. I struggled with this for a long time because I was afraid God would punish me for wanting a divorce. I was so young and conflicted. I feared Hell but I also feared my husband. The violence escalated every time, I knew if I stayed he would eventually kill me. I went to talk to my aunt. She was the authority of Christianity to me. She knew more about it than anyone else I knew. She had also been abused and had divorced her husband. I explained my situation to her. She said, “God wants you to serve him, and you can’t serve God when you fear for your life. He will forgive you for the divorce. Right now you have to be safe.” So I summoned up the courage and left, taking nothing but the clothes on my back.
Once I left my husband, we still attended church together. He would pick me up on Sundays and bring me back home afterwards. He wanted me to come home. Every Sunday and Wednesday was filled with pleas, and promises that he had changed. During this time the Pastor kept insisting that I had made the wrong decision. One day after his sermon he came over to speak to me. He said “you have to fix this or you’re going to go to