Jumping - The characteristic movement that a horse makes when
given a vaccine or has his feet trimmed.
Lameness - The condition of most riders after the first few rides each
year. This can be a chronic condition in weekend riders.
Lead Rope - A long apparatus used to administer rope burns. Also
used by excited horses to take a handler for a drag.
Longeing - A training method a horse uses on its owner with the
purpose of making the owner spin in circles. This renders the owner dizzy and light-headed, so that they feel ill and pass outand the
horse can go back to grazing.
Manure spreader - Horse traders
Mosquitoes – Radar-equipped blood sucking insects that typically
reach the size of small birds.
Mustang - The type of horse your husband would gladly trade your
favorite one for...preferably in a red convertible and V-8.
Overreaching - A descriptive term used to explain the condition
your credit cards are in by the end of show season.
Pinto - A colorful (usually green) coat pattern found on a freshly
washed and sparkling clean grey horse that was left unattended in
his stall for ten minutes.
Pony - The true size of the stallion that you bred your mare to via
transported semen-that was advertised as 15 hands tall.
Proud Flesh - The external reproductive organs flaunted by a stallion
when a horse of any gender is present. Often displayed in halter
classes.
Saddle Sore - The way the rider’s bottom feels the morning after the
weekend at the horse show.
Sleeping Sickness - A disease peculiar to mare owners while waiting
for
their mares to foal. Caused by nights of lost sleep, symptoms include
irritability, red baggy eyes and a zombie-like waking state. Can last
several weeks.
Splint - An apparatus that can be applied to various body parts of a
rider due to the parting of the ways of a horse and his passenger.
Stall - What your truck does on the way to a horse show, fifty miles
from the closest town.
Tack Room - A room where every item necessary to work with or
train your horse has been put, in a place which it cannot be found in
less than 30 minutes.
Twisted Gut - The feeling deep inside that most riders get before
their classes at a show.
Versatility - an owner’s ability to shovel manure, fix fences and chase
down a loose horse in one afternoon.
Vet Catalog - An illustrated brochure provided to stable owners that
features a wide array of products that are currently out of stock or
have been
dropped from a company’s inventory.
Weaving - The movement a horse trailer makes while going down
the road
with a rambunctious horse in it.
Quittor - A term trainers have commonly used to refer to their clients who come to their senses and pull horses out of their barns.
Whip Marks - The tell-tale raised welts on the face of a rider-caused
by
the trail rider directly in front of you letting a low hanging branch
go.
(Also caused by a wet or dry horse tail across the face while cleaning
hooves.)
Race - What your heart does when you see the vet bill.
Windpuffs - Stallion owners. Also applied to used car salesmen.
Rasp - An abrasive, long, flat metal tool used to remove excess skin
from the knuckles.
Withers - The reason you’ll seldom see a man riding bareback.
Quarter Cracks - The comments that most Arabian owners make
about the people who own Quarter Horses.
Reins - Break-away leather device used to tie horses with.
Ringworms - Spectators who block your view and gather around the
rail sides at horse shows.
Sacking out - A condition caused by Sleeping Sickenss (see below).
The state of deep sleep a mare owner will be in at the time a mare
actually goes into labor and foals.
Saddle - An expensive leather contraption manufactured to give the
rider a false sense of security. Comes in many styles, and all feature
built-in
ejector seats.
Yearling - the age at which all horses completely forget the things
you
taught them previously.
Youngstock - A general term used for all equines old enough to bite,
kick
or run you over, but not yet old enough to dump you on the ground.
Zoo - The typical atmosphere around most horse properties.