Love Yourself For You
Throughout my life I have had people come and go into my life and each time was just as devastating as the first time. My mother left me in the care of my father for most of my early childhood so she could have the party life that she had always wanted. And this is where my journey to self-harm and bad habits developed. People whom I loved with all my heart ended up abandoning me and this left a huge void within me. I constantly blamed myself for the good byes I had encountered. I always wondered what was wrong with me that everyone always ended up leaving me.
In the comfort of my loneliness I developed an abusive relationship with food. No matter what happened in my life food was always there to guide me through every situation. Through the good times and memories I celebrated with food. Through the tears and heartache there was my old friend food to comfort me like a hug would. Through the years I finally understood that this moment was never going to be recreated again and that soon it will leave me. I even started to worry that food would eventually betray me also. In that fear I soon started overeating because i knew that that taste would never be recreated again and so I had to enjoy it...enjoy the whole thing until there was nothing left because soon it would be gone for good. Which was not surprising since I feel like that is the same way that I love…
I love until there is nothing left, I give my all because you never know when it will end. I ended up smothering people or confusing them because most people are not used to a love as intense as mine. So when I sit down to a meal and the meal is extraordinarily tasty I feel I must eat until there is nothing left because that meal in that moment will never happen again. (Continued on Next Page)
One of My "AHA!" Moments
by Angelica Gutierrez
As I have been going through my journey of self-discovery I have learned a very important thing. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and I thought I knew the real reason why I over-ate but if I understood the why then why wasn't I able to rectify the problem??? Maybe the reason I thought was barely scratching the surface of the tangled web of emotions I have kept inside. I have been taking Contrave to curb my cravings and only now have I really understood the relationship that I have built with food and my eating habits. Even though the Contrave helps with the cravings and the overeating I still have to monitor myself because of an automatic habit that I have developed.
6 Women share their stories and struggles of learning to love themselves.
©JessicaAsh