496
Aptavani-9
Dadashri: No it is not new, it has always been there from
the beginning. This knowledge was with the tirthankaras and it
is here today too. What can I do when according to your ‘law
book’ you claim it as new?
‘I-ness’ melts away with real experience
One person thought he had become absolute. I told him,
‘You have become nothing, do not grope around. There are a
lot of things you still have to become, you have a long way to
go and it is not easy to become Absolute.’ So he tells me, ‘But
the ego is gone.’ I said to him, ‘It has not gone. It is all there.
You have not checked into it.’
But it goes away gradually. As one suffers in the
experiences of worldly interaction and makes internal adjustments
through Gnan, then the real experience (anubhav) arises within,
and when such experiences increase, the ‘I-ness’ (potapanu)
leaves to that extent. To say that the ego is gone means the ‘I-
ness’ is gone. The end of ego means the end of ‘I-ness’. One
will have to go through a lot of experiences before even a
fraction of the ‘I-ness’ goes. (There is a lot of difference
between worldly experiences and the real experience within that
ultimately makes one the absolute Self).
The main ego, the charge ego, is gone. That is precisely
what is called the ego—ahamkar. But it is not at all easy to get
rid of the discharge ego. What does it mean to claim that the ego
has gone away? It means that there is no garva (doer-ship), no
garavata (wallowing and remaining stuck in worldly comforts)
and no potapanu (‘I-ness’). Should all that not go? The ego is
gone for sure after Gnan; the charge ego is gone, so what kind
of ego remains? The discharge ego! The discharge ego will
dissipate in proportion to the experience (resulting from the
application of Gnan) and then the ‘I-ness’ will gradually
decrease. Otherwise, it will not do so, not on its own. This is not
an easy thing to accomplish. One may ask, ‘Can it not be