Aptavani-9 155
You do not become tanmayakar i. e. you do not become engrossed or become one with your relative self because of the Gnan‘ we’ have given you. But You may feel and wonder,‘ Did I become tanmayakar?’ But no You do not, it is merely a suspicion. The Lord says the fact that you have suspicion means you are in Gnan, because others( people without Gnan) will not have such suspicions as to whether they become tanmayakar( become one with the self). In fact they are always tanmayakar. You have this Gnan and so you will have the suspicions of,‘ Did I become tanmayakar or not?’ and that is the suspicion! Still the Lord says,‘ I forgive You for that suspicion.’ One may ask,‘ Lord! Why are you so forgiving?’ He will tell you,‘ You did not become tanmayakar; there is a misunderstanding on your part.’
You do not become tanmayakar; it is merely your suspicion. Why do others not have such suspicions? Do other people have suspicions like that? No. they have never even had a thought of‘ I am separate and free’. Therefore, You are definitely separate. The Lord even pardons your suspicions of,‘ Did I become tanmayakar or not?’ But the Lord also says that even such suspicion should not arise with gradual practice.
Suspicion-free as to the purity of the Self
In reality the Soul is like the space, and‘ Shuddhatma’ is a sangnya( an understanding through association), a symbol or a sign of sort. What is that sangnya?
Questioner: In order to understand the soul.
Dadashri: No. No matter what kind of deeds, good or bad, are done by this body, You are pure( shuddha). One may say,‘ Dear Lord, I am pure but what about this body that does negative things?’ The Lord still says,‘ Those deeds are not Yours. You are pure( shuddha) but if You believe those deeds to be yours, then you are bound by them.’ That is why the word Shuddhatma is written as a symbol association( sangnya).