Aptavani-9
135
Dadashri: No, not like that. These words are specifically
for that suspicion; the words ‘Am I Chandulal?’ is helpful to him.
All other suspicion is suicide. If the suspicion, ‘Am I really
Chandulal… am I really a son... a father… like the world says
I am?’ arises, then it is worth it.
So which suspicion is worth having? Suspicion related to
the self, ‘Is this the atma (soul, the real Self) or that is the atma?’
Until one realizes the Atma (the Self), he will continue to have
suspicions, just as the world does.
All accusations are made because of the belief ‘I am
Chandulal for sure. I am decidedly (nischaya thi - in reality)
Chandulal. I am truly Chandulal.’ But now suspicion has arisen
about this identity, has it not? A real doubt (vahem) has arisen
in this matter, has it not? This suspicion will attain your work of
Self-realization. No one gets doubts in this matter. No one will
have suspicions in this matter even when one tries to.
How can such suspicion arise? Arey! Even the authorities,
the government allows this blunder to continue. They will
announce, ‘Is Chandulal present?’ and so Chandulal will stand
up and the authorities will accept that. But he will never
suspect that he is not Chandulal and that he is holding on to
the wrong thing.
There is nothing in the outside world that will allow one
to suspect one’s identity of, ‘Am I really Chandulal?’ Even
legal documents endorse that he is Chandulal. When so many
people accept this, how can he then have any suspicion about
this?
Doubt over wrong knowledge
The one who creates doubts about one’s own knowledge
(of ‘I am Chandulal’) is a Gnani. Your own knowledge is never
wrong, is it? But a Gnani can do everything and that is why you
will have doubts within you; he will raise doubt about your own