Aptavani-2
95
they say, “We have not come here for your scolding.” This is all
a science; when You scold the prakruti, you will see results
immediately.
Questioner : Previously when I lived with a Jain ascetic,
I was very strict with my appetite and eating habits. I punished
my appetite tendencies very severely and it took six months
before it succumbed to me. Now I am experiencing a reaction
to that and for the last eight years, if I do not get food on time,
just once, it starts shouting within and on the outside.
Dadashri : Just look at how worn out these people have
become. All the ascetics, sages etc., have become exhausted
because they have tried to suppress and stifle their minds. The
mind is not a thing you can stifle; neither can you let it roam free.
It is wrong to leave it free to roam. Both approaches are wrong.
Questioner : Do both need to be in proportion?
Dadashri : No, not in proportion. If your son’s wife were
to come here, do you not have certain restraint and limitations?
Questioner : Yes Dada, I do.
Dadashri : If your daughter-in-law is passing by and you
stop her in a commanding tone and start questioning her about
her college and her personal activities, it is all harmful. This is
letting the mind run lose. You have to exercise some restraint
over the mind. You must not let your influence over your mind
be lost. That is why you should deal with it in a meaningful
manner. You should not let it run free but neither should you get
upset with it. What would happen if you were to treat the women
in your household like that? They would lose respect for you.
There is a Gujarati saying, ‘If the father-in-law respects
his boundaries, so will the daughter-in-law.’ This is how things
are, so you should deal with the mind in a methodical and a
systematic manner. The mind has overturned everyone and that