8
Aptavani-1
God As the Boss : Liberation?
When I was thirteen, it occurred to me that there should
be no one in a position of authority over me. I did not want
even God to be my boss. I would not be able to tolerate that.
Such was the spiritual development I had brought with me. My
wishes of countless past lives finally came into fruition in this
lifetime. If God were in a position of power over us and if he
were to grant us liberation, then we would be obliged to obey
his commands. If I were sitting down and he asked me to get
up, I would have to follow his command. That would be
unacceptable. How can one call that liberation? Liberation means
complete freedom, no superior over us or no subordinates under
us either.
You can experience the bliss of liberation through self-
realization here while living. No worries or external problems
will affect you. Liberation is when your internal peace is not
disturbed even when you receive a letter of audit from the
income tax office. The final liberation will come later on, but first
you must experience liberation here and now.
I got married at the age of sixteen. During the wedding
ceremony, the turban on my head tipped slightly to one side. At
that time it occurred to me that it was inevitable that one of us
would become widowed.
Life after life man learns the same thing over and over
again and yet ignorance creates veils over it again. One need
not learn ignorance; ignorance comes naturally. It is Gnan (real
knowledge) that one has to learn. The veil of ignorance was
relatively less within me and that is why even at the young age
of thirteen I became (spiritually) aware. In my math class, the
teacher had asked the students to find the smallest indivisible
number, which is common to all other numbers (LCM = lowest
common multiple). From this search, I immediately discovered