that depression results from
long-term efforts to repress
and/or suppress all types of
painful feelings disappointment,
frustration, sadness, and grief.”
Suppressing these unresolved
issues can lead to resentment,
bitterness, frustration which
are just other words for anger.
As the cycle continues and the
issue remains untreated, it can
lead to relationship problems,
family breakdown, and poor
functioning both at work, and
at life in general. This is what
happens when we fail to take a
moment to reflect on the “why”
and the “who” that the anger
originated from. The anger,
although suppressed, doesn’t
stay that way. It’s just not always
evident to the angry person that
they’re acting out in ways that
are destructive to themselves
and their loved ones.
Inward Anger and the Spirit
Do you know anyone who lives
in judgment of others, or is
critical of everything and almost
anyone? Do you know someone
who is terribly hard to please and
can find something wrong with
everything they see? How about
the pity party hostess who’s
always playing the victim and
wallowing in destructive fruitless
self-pity? These are all examples
of how living with inward anger
can work itself in the spirit of
the angry person. Manipulative,
controlling behavior belongs
in this category as well. These
individuals are quick to find fault
with the things others do, yet
fail to see their own mistakes.
They are always looking to get
that speck out of your eye, while
ignoring the plank in their own.
(Matt.7:5)
They live in a state of constant
resentment and bitterness, never
able to have peace of mind.
They harbor unforgiveness, and
nurse their hurt and pain. They
can be in pain from an incident
that happened a long time
ago, or it could have happened
just last year. Either way, they
assume the role of caretaker
over that pain and refuse to let it
go holding themselves hostage
in the process. Living with anger
in the spirit puts you in spiritual
bondage. This person will make
sure no one around them is truly
happy, but at the same time, they
won’t be happy either.
Again, I am reminded of how
Jesus often tells us in His Word
to forgive. He admonishes us
not to fear, and not to worry.
He knew what these things
would lead to. He also knew the
importance of our hearts being
filled with God’s love. If it isn’t
filled with love it will be filled
with other things that are not like
God. Jesus said, “…for out of
the abundance of the heart, the
mouth speaks.” (Matt.12:34). He
was saying that those negative
words come from a heart that
is full of anger, not full of love.
There may still be love present
in the heart, but the “abundance”
of the heart is anger. Whatever
the heart is abundant with is the
dominant force.
In Ephesians 4:31 we read,
“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger,
clamor, and evil speaking be put
away from you, with all malice.”
Some of you may be wondering
what is meant by “clamor” just
as I was. It is noise, yelling,
screaming, utter chaos. The
person who lives in a constant
state of anger has no peace
whatsoever. Evil speaking is the
deliberate intent to harm others
with our words saying things
that can potentially damage their
reputation and make them look
badly – on purpose. This is one
way in which inward anger is
directed at sometimes innocent
individuals, yet it first caused
harm to the person feeling
the anger. This is a person
wounded in spirit. That is why
it’s so convenient for them to
harm others with their words.
Joyce Meyer put it this way, “hurt
people, hurt people.” Judging
from all of the people walking
around wounded in this world, it
is safe to say this is true, and we
are in need of healing.
Why Hold It Inside?
Perhaps the answer to this lies
in the way we are taught as
Christians. We are often told
about love, and kindness, but
we are not told how to manage
feelings of anger. If you grew
up in a home where you were
discouraged from expressing
your emotions, you may feel you
don’t have a choice except to
hold it in. You feel angry at times
just like everyone else, you just
aren’t aware of how to deal with it
because you weren’t taught how
to express it. You weren’t shown
the model for properly handling
it. This is unfortunate, and
something we as parents can
change effective immediately.
Although anger is not an
endearing emotion, it is an
emotion that is real and has
lasting consequences if left
unresolved. In an article on
self-esteem and anger, the
writer states the following: “We
have a tendency to minimize
the unpleasant truths about
ourselves in such a way that we
can fool ourselves.” Perhaps this
is another key to why we may