WHEN WE DAYDREAMED OF WORKING FROM HO
OUR DREAMS DID NOT INVOLVE OUR SPOUSE OR
from home is not the Eden many of us thought it might be, and it
If you have kids and your spouse is home, negotiate people
can be downright hell if you have kids or roommates. So, let’s try space breaks where they take the kids for a half an hour each
some more useful tips: day, and you take the kids for a half an hour each day. The rest
• Try to start at the same time each morning, but occasionally,
unless your first thing to do is a video call, just work from
the laptop in your very comfy bed because. No additional
reason. Just because.
• If you’re a parent, expect to be bothered for food at least once
an hour. I don’t know why. Children are ravenous eating
of the time is what it is, but for 30 minutes a day, you get a break
from your cohabitation humans. This time gives you a moment
to rest, a breath of sanity, and is incredibly sacred, so if you need
to sacrifice a goat to make this happen, I’m not going to judge
you. Staying positive no matter what is hard enough when we are
trying to keep other people like our kids or our residents calm,
monsters until you put an actual meal in front of them.
• If you have a spouse or partner who is
also now working from home, do not
ask them any of the following questions:
* “Why are you doing X the way
you’re doing X?”
* “Can I show you a better way to do
this thing that you’re doing for your
job that I really don’t know much
about?”
* “Is it possible for you to stop saying
“circle back” and “drill down” on
your calls? It makes me want to die
a little inside when you do it because
you sound like every person in a
meeting that I hate.”
* “WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL
THAT IS HOLY DO YOU HAVE A
MECHANICAL KEYBOARD?”
(You will have to yell this for them
to hear you over the mechanical
keyboard. They will pretend not to
hear you. I suggest noise cancelling
headphones – good ones.)
* “Wow, this house is dirty.” (This is
not a question, so much as it is an
invitation for divorce.)
16 | TRENDS MAY 2020
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