20
Anger
make things go your way. If you do not have any expectations,
you will not go wrong. Anyone with expectations can be stubborn
if he wants to. This is how you should look at it.
Questioner : No matter how hard we try to remain silent,
what should we do when the men get angry?
Dadashri : If you want to start a quarrel, then you should
also get angry. And if not, then you should just remain silent.
What use is anger to you? The person himself does not
get angry. Anger is the effect of a “mechanical adjustment,”
which is why he later regrets it and wishes it never happened.
Questioner : What should I do to calm him?
Dadashri : When a machine gets too hot, you must leave
it alone for a while and in a short time it will cool down. But
if you keep meddling with it, you will get burnt.
Questioner : My husband and I get into terrible
arguments and we also say hurtful things to each other. What
should I do?
Dadashri : Is he the one who gets angry or is it you?
Questioner : Sometimes I do.
Dadashri : Then you should scold yourself from within.
Ask yourself why you are getting angry when you know that
you will suffer the consequences. Do pratikraman (the act of
asking for forgiveness), and all your faults will come to an end.
Otherwise you will have to suffer the same pain that you are
inflicting. You will calm things down a little with pratikraman.
THIS IS CRUDE BEHAVIOR
Questioner : When we get angry we start using abusive
language. How can we improve ourselves?
Dadashri : This happens because one does not have any
control. In order to have some control one should first understand