Angelman Today November / December edition 2013 | Page 25

Remain calm.
Memorize this phrase, and repeat it
over and over in your head
whenever you feel yourself losing
your cool: I do not have to
apologize for being a good parent to
my child. We may struggle under
the weight of "advice" or
disapproval from family members,
but our kids don't care about that:
They need what they need. You
know best what your child needs,
and providing it is your most
important responsibility, no
arguments. Since most children with
special needs react poorly to stress
in their environment, particularly
stressed-out parents, staying relaxed
and low-key is one of the best things
you can do to keep your child's
behavior in line. You can always
throw a tantrum when you get
home.
No martyrs here.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help or
ask for a break—even if it is for 15
minutes or a couple of hours. Ask a
friend or relative who understands
and is familiar with your child to
keep an eye out and engage her or
him regularly. If you can line up a
few people to take turns, nobody
will miss too much socializing time.
It’s not about things being perfect it
is about time well-spent with those
we care about and love.
Give plenty of praise.
If your child is doing a great job
handling party stress, give her or
him lots of positive reinforcement.
Compliments, high-fives and hugs
go a long way toward keeping good
behavior coming. A happy child
makes for a happy party, and that's a
pretty good goal.
What to do about gifts.
If you are like many families, you
have a house full of toys from
relatives that your child has no
interest in playing. So how do we
get our families to purchase gifts our
children are sure to enjoy? Point

your family in the right direction by
creating a list of items and email it to
your relatives along with the link to the
store and the product number. Make it
as easy as possible to purchase the
item. Look at toy catalogs from the
perspective of your child’s strengths
and challenges. What toys seem
visually stimulating? What toys have a
hands-on tactile look to them? What
games promote word recall? What
games include player interaction? What
games help foster conversation?

As our children get older, the challenge
is that the things that once interested
them no longer do—and that is a good
thing because they are growing and
maturing and developing new skills
and interests! Remember, too, that it is
not the quantity or equality of the gifts,
but finding those gifts that are most
meaningful to our children with
Angelman syndrome. Perhaps a special
holiday pillow, comfy blanket, special
cuddly sweatshirt or item that your
individual can identify with will have
particular significance and meaning for
her and will quickly become a favorite,
treasured gift that reminds her of this
special holiday!
Gift Giving Time.
Any one or more of these scenarios
may describe your child with
Angelman syndrome. Here are a few
helpful hints if:
~Your child is unable to open presents
Relatives love the excitement of seeing
the youngsters open their presents but
your child is unable to do so. Earlier in
the day, before the melee of gift giving
starts, you might ask each relative to
spend time with your child and open
the present for him.

This will be more meaningful for
both your child and relative.
~Your child is uninterested in
opening presents
Even if you open the presents for
your child, he doesn’t acknowledge
that they are there. What do you do?
Open the presents at home. Your
family might be disappointed but
tell them that he is so interested in
everything else that he just can’t
focus on the presents. Tell them that
he will enjoy opening and playing
with his gifts in the quiet of his
home.
~Your child is interested in
unwrapping presents but not the
gift
For your child it’s all about ripping
the wrapping paper. He doesn’t
even pay attention to the toy. Take
note of who gave which present.
On a later day when your child
plays with his toy, take a picture to
send to the relative to say thanks.
Another suggestion is to ask some
relatives ahead of time if your child
can help open their presents. Your
child can look forward to Grandma
inviting him to open the presents for
her.
~Your child focuses on one present
Your child has a mound of presents
but stops after opening the second
present. Let him open his presents
at his own speed. You might end up
taking half of the gifts home with
the wrapping still on them and
that’s okay. Let him open the rest
the next day.

~Your child is overwhelmed at
everyone opening presents
Your child may be overwhelmed by
the chaos of everyone talking at
once and tearing the wrapping
paper off their presents. If this
sounds like your child, it’s okay to
go to another room and watch a
holiday TV show while the rest of
the family opens presents. Another
suggestion is, earlier in the day have