Angelman Today November / December edition 2013 | Page 24

Tips for Managing Holiday Stress
By Eileen Braun, Executive Director of the Angelman Syndrome
Foundation and mother to a young lady with Angelman syndrome
It’s not just about getting through
and surviving the holidays, we all
want to truly enjoy our time with
family and friends. How do we
balance all that we think we need
or want to do and still enjoy the
holidays? We hope these holiday
tips will help to keep you a little
more relaxed and less stressed
this holiday season.
Have a plan and set realistic
expectations.
Decide what is important to you
and your immediate family. The
“Hallmark” holiday we see on TV
in reality most likely does not exist.
Be selective and choose those
invitations that are most important
and special to you and your family.
Perhaps celebrating the actual
holiday with just your immediate
family is just the ticket to keep the
special holiday more manageable
and less stressful and other family
and friend events can be attended
outside of the immediate holiday.
Try keeping the guest list to a
manageable minimum so the day
doesn’t become overwhelming for
everyone. Try a few small
gatherings on different days rather
than one large, overwhelming
gathering.
You know your child’s stressors,
triggers and anxiety points, so
remember to be a good observer
and head things off before they
get to the point of no return.
Don’t be reluctant to be the last
ones to show up (just call ahead if
you are running really late) and it is
fine to be the first ones to say

thanks for the eggnog and
goodbye if that will help make
your visit more enjoyable.
Watch for subtle, escalating,
non-verbal cues your child is
communicating to you and others
that s/he is becoming anxious
and/or overwhelmed. Intervene
with a break or calm, quiet
private relaxation time and ask
your individual when s/he is
ready to join the gathering again
and honor her/his request.
Don’t forget your routine.
Our children typically do best
with structure and routine.
Cookies and milk may well be a
part of the holiday season, but
eating well, getting enough rest
and sticking to routines will help
everyone in your family enjoy
the holidays. Don’t let these
routines get away from you
completely, as they will be
harder to re-establish once the
holiday season is done.
It’s OK to take a break.
If you are hosting people at your
home and your child is feeling
overwhelmed or is in need of
some time alone make sure s/he
has a safe place for some quiet,
down time. When you are
visiting friends and family, talk
with the hosts and identify a
quiet space where your child and
you can “escape” when s/he is
feeling overwhelmed or in need
of some quiet or alone time. Also
be sure to ask about any house
rules (like no food in the
bedrooms) that will make the

visit less stressful for all.
Clothes don't make the child.
If your child is sensitive to
certain types of clothes, or just
stubbornly insists on wearing
something you (or, you suspect,
someone else) will find
inappropriate, don't pick a battle
with all of the other potential
stressors during the holiday
season. While eyebrows may
raise if your child isn’t dressed to
the nines, the goal is to start your
child out with as low a stress
level as possible. Fussing over
clothes, or putting her or him in
clothes that you know will cause
anxiety, is a tough way to start.
Augment the menu.
Whether you're bringing a little
something to someone else's
gathering or planning the
gathering in your own home,
make sure there are a variety of
items your child will enjoy
eating, especially if your child is
on a special diet such as the
L.G.I.T. The goal of the day isn't
cleaning your plate or trying new
foods or pleasing the cook. It's
making sure your child is wellnourished, sticking to her/his
diet and, more importantly, it's
about giving thanks for the good
things in our lives.