PERSONAL TRAINING
How to survive your first go without losing some dignity
Expect bruises , possibly to your ego , when you walk into your first personal training session after one too many Filipino fiestas and siestas .
By MICHELLE BALTAZAR
GOING to my first personal training session was a bit like going to a confessional : " When was the last time you ' ve done any exercise ?" " Two years ago ." " And have you been eating well ?" " I just had a couple of Twix bars today and ate lechon ( roast pork ) over the weekend ." " What about injuries ?" " I hurt my back after I fell off the couch watching ' The Legal Wife ' on TFC ." " Okay , for your penance , do 50 push-ups ." Still , I dare anyone who has not fallen off the exercise bandwagon to cast the first stone .
After reflecting on , and skipping , my third Twix bar I was open to doing some exercise - I just didn ' t know at the time that it would be a life-anddeath situation .
Based on my experience , here are seven handy tips to survive your first personal training session without losing your dignity : Tip # 1 Drink water . Skip this and you die . Tip # 2 : The burpee ( jumping jack then a push-up , repeat 30 times ) is a misnomer . I didn ' t burp at all . They should call it a hurlee . To survive burpees , go to your happy place . Mine was George Clooney .
Tip # 3 : As a first timer , my personal trainer gave me a chance to take a breath in between some of the exercises . What I really wanted to do was lie down and take a long nap . This was not allowed . To survive a session and not curl up into a ball , go to your happy place . Again .
Tip # 4 : Like the burpee , some words will have a different meaning during gym time . My personal trainer said , " I ' ll go easy on you ." Then she made me do 50 skips on a jumping rope and then 40 squats . I ' m scared what she means by going hard .
Tip # 5 : Be aware of signs . If your personal trainer ' s name rhymes with terminator , do not expect the Dalai Lama . My trainer Alena ' s nickname is Termalena . ' Nuff said .
Tip # 6 : Personal trainers are obsessed with squats . I am confused about this because I have never discovered any practical uses for squats in my life . I can ' t even put it in my CV . How to survive the million squats you ' ll do in every session ? Go back to your happy place .
Tip # 7 : This is the most important survival tip . Make sure you write the name and phone number of your emergency contact on a piece of paper to take with you at all times .
Better yet , tattoo them on your right arm for easy viewing . Add the country code + 61 for clarity .
Okay , so I lied . If you ' re like me and your idea of a marathon is watching three Filipino teleseryes on TFC back-to-back , there is no way you can survive your first personal training with your ego intact .
But the trade-off is worth it . You may lose your face , but you ' ll also lose other stuff you want to get rid off - like stress , body weight and those extra Twix bars .
So when you decide to do your first PT session , leave your dignity at the door .
You ' ll look unco and horrible on the outside ( temporarily ) but fit and fabulous ( like the cover girl of Women ' s Health ) on the inside . •
www . kalatas . com . au AK NewsMagazine , Vol 7 No 12 | SEPTEMBER 2017 15