ever be subject to such torture. Undergoing plastic surgery for smaller eyes is a rather brilliant
idea in their cases, for small eyes are really quite lovely to look at. The most you will ever be
able to see out of their eyes are mere slits, and they resemble tiny smiles. I assure you, SmallEyes will never stare into the depths of your soul like Big-Eyes will. God knows if Small-Eyes
can even see anything out of those eyes.
After extensive study and evaluation of the blinking habits of Big-Eyes and Small-Eyes,
I’ve empirically concluded that Small-Eyes are far more reliable than Big-Eyes. Small-Eyes
blink so swiftly and stealthily; to witness a Small-Eye’s blink is not a trivial task. The average
length of time that Small-Eyes employ to blink is insignificant; thus, they’re able to maintain
their focus, particularly on details. Once again, this is not so with Big-Eyes. The length of time in
which their eyelids, which encase their colossal round eyeballs, take to creak shut and creak open
is considerably protracted in comparison to that of Small-Eyes. Ergo, Big-Eyes spend a longer
time with their eyes closed than the average Small-Eye does. With this lengthened amount of
shut-eye, countless crucial details are missed and forgotten.
And finally, as a consequence of their uninviting eyes, Big-Eyes rarely have friends.
This, in part, may be due to the grueling responsibilities of befriending a Big-Eye. Friends
comfort friends. it’s a widely accepted fact. And generally, I won’t even blink twice at
comforting a friend. But not so with Big-Eyes. I’ve determined that it is futile to attempt to
comfort a Big-Eye, especially if they summon the waterworks. The size of their tears is
commensurate with the enormity of their eyes, and they will never fail to drench all layers of
your clothes. Chances are, you will catch the dreaded bug being passed from Big-Eye friend to
Big-Eye friend, and become bed-ridden for the next week or so, impeding you from completing
any work. And because the chatter of your teeth will ahve drowned out any of your comforting
words, Big-Eye will remain disconsolate, rendering all of your efforts useless. However, it is no
feat to comfort Small-Eye. The size of their tears are commensurate with the size of their eyes as
well, if their tears even find a way to escape the tear ducts, which are also commensurate with the
aforementioned. Nonetheless, any vapor of a tear that may happen to alight on your shoulder will
evaporate before it has the chance to absorb into the fibers of your shirt. Everything works out
grandly with Small-Eyes.
This I saw from the bottom of my heart; this I say from the goodness of my soul; this I
say from the kindness of my spirit. A word from the wise-beware of Big-Eyes.
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