workforce
in a residential aged care facility was
made. It was heartbreaking and one of
the hardest conversations I needed to
have. How do you tell someone that no
matter how much you want to, you just
can’t be their carer anymore?
It felt quiet and lonely without
anyone to look after. The house was
suddenly empty, but I knew it was
the right decision. Within the first
two weeks of living in an aged care
facility, Nanna made two escape attempts, immaculately packing
up an entire room, including turning off electrical switches and
pulling out plugs. Fortunately, it never went beyond packing and a
disorientated protest with facility staff.
Eventually, Nanna settled into living in an aged care facility and
at times was so disorientated she thought she was still living at
home. Nanna became friends with other residents and staff alike
and was still able to go with family on excursions. Keeping active
and socially engaged no doubt extended her life. Nanna passed
away six months later surrounded by music and loved ones.
I have often thought about what advice I would give if I was
talking to my former self starting the carer journey, in the hope that
it may make it a little easier in some way. I would tell my former self:
Enjoy the present, rather than worry about the future.
Reach out for help at the start and allow others to
walk with you on your journey. Whether it be family,
friends or local organisations, support is there if you
allow it. My nanna and I received some amazing
support from Carers Victoria, the Cancer Council and
our local palliative care team, just to name a few.
Grief can be present in atypical ways. Allow yourself
to feel it rather than deny it.
It’s okay to tell people what you are going through –
it might even make you feel a little better.
You can’t do everything, just do the best you can.
I wasn’t in a position to resign from my work at
the hospital (and to be honest it was a welcome
distraction at times), however I did reduce my hours
to four days a week. It was one of the best decisions I
made, and I was a better employee and carer for it.
Even in the darkest of times, joy can still be found,
and laughter can still be present.
A carer’s journey is rewarding but challenging. I wouldn’t change
my experience for anything in the world. I learnt to appreciate
the little things, to not take things for granted, and I discovered a
strength of character beyond what I thought existed.
More importantly, I was able to spend precious time with
someone in the last stages of her life and made memories I will
cherish for ever. ■
This article is dedicated to the late Roma Dunn.
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