workforce
The author and her nanna. Opposite
page, Roma Dunn. Photos: supplied
A carer’s journey
After caring for then losing her beloved nanna,
a carer gives advice to her former self.
But for me, everything suddenly seemed so different – the
hospital, the doctors, the nurses, nothing was familiar any more.
By Nicole Dunn
The only reaction I seemed to have in response to my own internal
thoughts was to cry. I usually never cried, but now I couldn’t stop.
I later found out I was experiencing an acute grief reaction and it
even had a name – ‘anticipatory grief’. Just knowing it was a real
t was just another shift working as a physiotherapist in a
reaction and was okay seemed to make it a little easier.
Melbourne emergency department. Hospitals, healthcare
So began my journey as a carer.
and aged care were all second nature to me, until I received a
Within a couple of weeks, I had moved in with my nanna and
phone call that changed it all. It was my aunt on the phone.
had assumed a new role as a live-in carer, in addition to working
“I’ve just been at the doctors with Nanna. The doctor wants
full-time at the hospital. We did in fact ‘get on with things’ and a
her to go to emergency; she looks a bit jaundiced,” she told me.
schedule of daily events was promptly arranged. As it does, life
Without hesitation I replied, “Bring her in.”
continued and we created fun with weekends away, cooking
It made sense – my shift was finishing, and it wasn’t
together and ‘happy hour’, consisting of a glass of
that busy. “I’ll meet you soon,” I said.
Pimm’s and discussing the politics of our favourite TV
My nanna and I were close. I had lived
shows. I learnt quickly how hard carers work!
with her on and off throughout the years.
It wasn’t so much the physical work, rather
Our relationship was more like a nanna,
the
endless hospital appointments, constantly
How do you tell
mother and cheeky best friend all in one.
adjusting to new information, worry of the
someone that no
Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before my
unknown, and the emotional hardship of
worst fears were realised. Nanna was
seeing someone deteriorate before you and
matter how much
diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer
feeling helpless to do anything about it.
you want to, you
and the prognosis wasn’t good: one year,
I was one of the lucky ones; I knew ‘the
just can’t be their
even with palliative chemotherapy. I was
system’ and had supportive family and friends.
shocked. She was so independent – only that
I had no idea how people less fortunate got by.
carer anymore?
week she had been chopping wood.
Despite the prognosis, it was 18 months later
Ironically, my nanna seemed very accepting of
and Nanna remained at home with the support of
the news and was able to rationalise everything, with
family and some formal services. She had defied the
comments such as, “I actually thought it was bowel cancer …
odds, although it was becoming increasingly difficult to cope as
Guess I was wrong,” and, “Well, there isn’t much you can do about
a carer. Nanna’s memory was declining, falls were increasing and
it – just got to get on with things.”
she just couldn’t be left alone. The difficult decision to seek care
I
“
28 agedcareinsite.com.au