Aged Care Insite Issue 112 | Apr-May 2019 | Page 30

workforce The author and her nanna. Opposite page, Roma Dunn. Photos: supplied A carer’s journey After caring for then losing her beloved nanna, a carer gives advice to her former self. But for me, everything suddenly seemed so different – the hospital, the doctors, the nurses, nothing was familiar any more. By Nicole Dunn The only reaction I seemed to have in response to my own internal thoughts was to cry. I usually never cried, but now I couldn’t stop. I later found out I was experiencing an acute grief reaction and it even had a name – ‘anticipatory grief’. Just knowing it was a real t was just another shift working as a physiotherapist in a reaction and was okay seemed to make it a little easier. Melbourne emergency department. Hospitals, healthcare So began my journey as a carer. and aged care were all second nature to me, until I received a Within a couple of weeks, I had moved in with my nanna and phone call that changed it all. It was my aunt on the phone. had assumed a new role as a live-in carer, in addition to working “I’ve just been at the doctors with Nanna. The doctor wants full-time at the hospital. We did in fact ‘get on with things’ and a her to go to emergency; she looks a bit jaundiced,” she told me. schedule of daily events was promptly arranged. As it does, life Without hesitation I replied, “Bring her in.” continued and we created fun with weekends away, cooking It made sense – my shift was finishing, and it wasn’t together and ‘happy hour’, consisting of a glass of that busy. “I’ll meet you soon,” I said. Pimm’s and discussing the politics of our favourite TV My nanna and I were close. I had lived shows. I learnt quickly how hard carers work! with her on and off throughout the years. It wasn’t so much the physical work, rather Our relationship was more like a nanna, the endless hospital appointments, constantly How do you tell mother and cheeky best friend all in one. adjusting to new information, worry of the someone that no Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before my unknown, and the emotional hardship of worst fears were realised. Nanna was seeing someone deteriorate before you and matter how much diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer feeling helpless to do anything about it. you want to, you and the prognosis wasn’t good: one year, I was one of the lucky ones; I knew ‘the just can’t be their even with palliative chemotherapy. I was system’ and had supportive family and friends. shocked. She was so independent – only that I had no idea how people less fortunate got by. carer anymore? week she had been chopping wood. Despite the prognosis, it was 18 months later Ironically, my nanna seemed very accepting of and Nanna remained at home with the support of the news and was able to rationalise everything, with family and some formal services. She had defied the comments such as, “I actually thought it was bowel cancer … odds, although it was becoming increasingly difficult to cope as Guess I was wrong,” and, “Well, there isn’t much you can do about a carer. Nanna’s memory was declining, falls were increasing and it – just got to get on with things.” she just couldn’t be left alone. The difficult decision to seek care I “ 28 agedcareinsite.com.au