ABUSE_MAGAZINE_ID_ Illinois issue | Page 14

bullying What is bullying • Bullying is an intentional act. The child who bullies wants to harm the victim; it is no accident. 205 SW 9th Ave. • Aledo, IL 888-977-6637 • Bullying involves repeated occurrences. Bullying is not generally considered a random act nor a single incident. Rather, a child is repeatedly picked on by another child or is the target of harassment from a whole group of children. It is the repeated nature of bullying that causes anxiety and apprehension in victims, such that the “We are proud to support the fight for a drug free Illinois.” 316 SE 3rd Street • Aledo, IL 309-582-7827 PEPPCO 225 Hamshire St. • Quincy, IL 217-223-7619 We are proud to be an ABUSE FREE workplace & we are proud to help keep our youth ABUSE FREE. Haubrich Enterprises Inc. 1901 Seminary Rd. • Quincy, IL 217-223-1183 We care about our youth & we are proud to wait for your business! 21 MEANS 21! 14 : www.sayidat 325 Vermont • Quincy, IL Photo Source 217-228-1237 y.net WE CARE AUTO CARE “Ken Hultz at We Care Auto Care, cares about steering our youth down an ABUSE FREE road!” anticipation of bullying becomes as problematic as the bullying itself. • Bullying is characterized by a power difference; an unfair fight where the child who bullies has some advantage or power over the child who is victimized. Bullying is not the same as “playing around,” it is about the abuse of power. BULLYING “We are proud to be a drug free workplace and we proudly support ABUSE prevention in our high schools.” Hultz ? Learning that your child is involved in bullying behavior can be a tough blow to any parent. Before you get angry or upset, take a breath. Social skills develop gradually over the school years, and for many children, this includes learning and experimenting with power and relationships. It’s important that you work steadily and compassionately to get your child back on track. There’s a lot you, as a parent, can do to help your child learn from the situation and become a more productive and supportive part of his/her peer group. Here are 10 actions you can take today to help create better outcomes for both your child and the kids who were bullied. 1. Have an honest and firm conversation with your child. Many children don’t fully understand that what they are doing is bullying and this it is not OK. They may have seen similar behavior in adults, their peers, or on television. Your child needs to hear from you explicitly that it’s not normal, OK, or tolerable to bully, to be bul- | Illinois Spring/Summer 2013 | abusemagazine.org lied, or to watch other kids be bullied. Kids need to understand that when they bully their peers, they are doing harm not only to those victims, but also to kids who witness their actions and even to themselves. Children who repeatedly bully others tend to end up as adults having increased depression, anger, and conflict with other adults— and are more likely to be convicted of a crime. Your child needs your love and care to get back on track. 2. Make a commitment to help your child find healthy ways to resolve conflict and to stop bullying others. Start by determining why your child is bullying: is it the draw of social power or status? Or perhaps, a natural temperament that needs more adult regulation, or a case of copying peers? Is it possible your kid’s being bullied by others, and is lashing out with pro-active behavior to try to keep from getting bullied? A teacher, counselor or mental health professional may be able to help with this process. Once you get a handle on why the bullying is occurring, you can then help your child come up with alternate behaviors or ideas to gain leadership and “social status” that don’t involve excluding others or physical and verbal bullying. Provide specific examples from your own experience or from carefully screened books and media. Support your child’s efforts to communicate the plan and ideas to teachers and administrators and to implement the plan at school. Source: www.education.com › Education Issues Today › Bullying and Teasing