ABUSE MAGAZINE
dragged through the media throughout the
country and sometimes the world. See how
they continue on and even come back stronger
than ever.
“Even if they don’t say
anything, I know what they are
thinking.”
Maybe so. Let them think what they will.
It does not change the exceptional person
you are. How do I know you are exceptional?
Because you are reading this, trying to sort
things out carefully and logically. Finding the
strength and courage to make your life work in
spite of the ignorant and hurtful people who
choose to attack you in such a cowardly way,
“Sometimes it seems OK, but
sometimes it just gets to me
and I don’t think I can take
anymore.”
It may come in waves. When you feel a
wave of despair or anxiety coming on, take a
comfortable breath and remind yourself that
this horrible feeling will pass. When it does,
recognize it and enjoy the moment (even if it
is a brief one).
When it does get to you, respond by building
yourself up, not by tearing yourself down.
“There is no one I can talk to
who will understand.”
There is. Perhaps your parents, but if your
parents don’t understand, there are others –
counselors at school, other adults you know.
Perhaps a parent of a friend. If there is no one
at school, there are hotlines you can call such
as the Crisis Call Center – 1-800-273-8255.
“There’s no way I can stop
this.”
Focus on what you can control. You can’t
control what people say or think, but you can
control how you respond to them. Make a
decision to focus less on trying to make them
stop bullying you, and more on identifying
your own goals and dreams and making them
come true.
“If I tell someone, they will think I am a
baby and tell me to stop whining about it.”
Let them think what they will. Protecting or
advocating for yourself is not being a baby. It’s
having courage and it is your right! The fact is
that you have the right to a happy life.
“If I tell someone, it will only
get worse.”
learned over time that the proof of their
value is how strong they are – often
proven by picking on people they perceive
as weaker than they. Often they come
from households where they are bullied,
so they become bullies themselves. The
fact that you are being bullied by them is
more about them and their issues than it
is about you or whatever they are saying
about you.
It might, but if you don’t tell someone, it is
not likely to get better. Take the chance.
“I feel so ugly. I must be,
because they say I am.”
If they thought that saying you look like a
sirloin steak would hurt you, they’d say that.
What they say means absolutely nothing.
• Bullies need to be fed constantly. We feed
them by either arguing with them, or
defending ourselves to them, or obviously
running from them. Do not feed them!
Instead, merely glance in their direction,
then look past them, and then walk
past them. As annoying and painful as
it is, strive to not let that show. Just as
celebrities and politicians often endure
very negative reviews, relentless taunting
in the media and sometimes vicious lies
and attacks, the key to their success is for
them to keep pushing forward with our
heads held high. That is my advice to you.
“It feels like I am the only one
who has gone through this and
feels like I do.”
That is not true, although it feels like it.
There are so many others who have been bullied. In fact, there are thousands of articles
written about bullying every year, there are
crisis lines, and groups formed to educate
and eliminate bullying. You are definitely not
alone.
Lastly, while I have made a number of
suggestions about what you can do to cope
with the bullying you are enduring, I do want
to stress the fact that this does not, in any
manner, suggest that the bullying you are
enduring is your fault. But, instead, to show
that there are things you can do to survive it.
“I WANT TO DIE!!!”
Never give in to these feelings. NEVER.
Ending your life because of cowards and ignorant people is so very wrong. Don’t give in to
those who would try to destroy you due to
their own inadequacies.
Finally, it is important that when we are
being picked on by bullies, we really understand them. If we understand them, it’s
much easier for us to survive them. Here
are some important facts:
• Bullies bully out of weakness. It doesn’t
seem like it, but it’s true. They have
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“Kids, don’t throw
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815-968-4477
1001 South Pierpont Avenue
Rockford, IL
abusemagazine.org | Illinois Spring/Summer 2014 |
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