ABUSE_MAGAZINE_ID_ Illinois ABUSE Magazine | Page 8

BEATING THE CYBERBULLYING EFFECT

Beating the Cyber-Bullying Effect

It hits like a brick wall falling on top of you the first time you see something written about you on-line .
Maybe you know who posted it , maybe you don ’ t . Maybe it ’ s true , maybe it isn ’ t .
What is true is that this kind of bullying can leave you feeling alone , humiliated , alienated , numb in your legs , angry , scared ,
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Bullying used to be simple to recognize , simple to tell who the bully was , and once the bullying was over , it was over , at least until the next time .
Today , it ’ s a different story . With the creation of the internet and the many devices that can be used to create , store , manipulate and disseminate incredible amounts of hurtful and embarrassing information across nearly limitless numbers of people in an instant without the person being talked about even knowing about it , the impact can be absolutely devastating . The whole process is diabolical .
Being the victim of cyber-bullying can be overwhelming . What are you supposed to do when you are the victim of this kind of bullying ?
So many questions and thoughts and emotions rush through your mind .
In this article , we are going to give you some answers .
“ How can I ever show my face again ?”
More than anything else , it is important to do exactly that . Walk down the hall , go to class , go out , and do it with your head held high . You are still a good person and one who has value , no matter what is said about you . Don ’ t let the destructive things that people say about you define you or control how you will live your life .
“ What if everyone believes what they say about me ?”
At the deepest level , as long as you know the truth – that is all that is important . Really ! I know it is really hard to learn that others believe something about us that is not true , but dig down deep and focus on you – not on what others are thinking .
“ When I read that I am worthless . Maybe I am .”
No , you are not worthless . In fact , just the opposite . Think about the kind of person you are . Think about the good things you have done . There are many . If you cannot think of them , ask a friend to help you think of them .
“ What should I do when I see them ?”
When confronted – look them in the eye but don ’ t glare and keep walking . You aren ’ t looking for a confrontation where you can be hurt or further humiliated , but you also don ’ t want to always be hiding . Your first concern is your physical safety , aside from that , your goal is to disengage from the bully .
“ Why did I do that ? If I hadn ’ t done what they say I did , none of this would be happening .”
Every one of us does something that we regret from time to time . I know I have done things I have regretted more often than I want to remember . We all do the things we do for a reason , based on the situation and based on what we know at the time . Sometimes we are ok with it , sometimes , not .– you are not alone in this .
Focus on the future – not on what has already happened . You can ’ t change what has already happened , but you can make decisions that will make your future a bright one .
Remember , you are not to blame for the bullying , even if you did something wrong . Bullying is only the fault of the bully .
“ Will this ever end ? There are so many people who have seen what they posted about me , I will never escape .”
It will end . It might take a while , but it will end and you will go on and lead a happy full life . You deserve that . Let this strengthen you , not destroy you . You have power you don ’ t even know is there . While this is truly an extremely challenging situation , you have deep inside you , the ability to make it through and live a happy life .
“ Everyone is talking about me . Even when I walk down the hall , I hear them whispering .”
Consider that whatever people are saying or thinking about you as a result of cyber-bullying are merely the thoughts and words of ignorant people .
Let them say and think what they want . It is not fair and it is not right , but you will not be beaten Think about some of the famous people you know of who have done something very wrong or embarrassing and have been
8 | Illinois Spring / Summer 2014 | abusemagazine . org
Source : Transitions Mental Health Services – www . transmhs . org