Page 29 | ABUSE Magazine
Source: Phoenix House
abusemagazine.org
IS SUBSTANCE ABUSE YOUR FAULT?
ference. In truth, the only way to limit being around substance abuse is to
limit your time around the substance
abuser.
You DIDN’T CAUSE it. Addiction is not
something that one person can do to
another. An unhappy childhood, an
unhappy marriage, or problems with
children, for example, do not cause a
person to become a substance abuser. Even if you yourself had a substance abuse problem when your children were young, it is not your fault.
While some people may be born with
an inherited tendency toward addiction, and some life experiences may
make it more or less likely, neither
genes nor experiences alone cause
addiction. Rather, the path to drug
use, abuse, and addiction are actions
that the substance abuser chooses.
Simply stated, the addiction is the result of a series of bad choices made
by the substance abuser.
You CAN’T CONTROL it. If an addict
wants a drug, nothing and no one will
stand in their way. Forget pouring the
wine down the sink, or flushing pills
down the toilet; it won’t make a dif-
You CAN’T CURE it. Much as you may
want a substance abuser to get help,
you can’t make it happen. Love and
understanding won’t do it, and neither will begging or threatening. Recovery will come, if at all, only if and
when the substance abuser truly decides to seek another life. Just as the
addiction was the result of a series of
bad choices by the substance abuser,
so must recovery begin and be maintained through a series of good choices by the substance abuser.
The three C’s can be a great comfort. Suppose you find yourself worrying, saying: If only I’d been a better mother, perhaps my son would
never have started drinking. Repeat
to yourself: I didn’t cause it. Or tell
that that nagging inner voice – Maybe if I found a really good treatment
program and took her to meet with
the counselor – that you can’t cure it.
It’s a hard message to remember at
times, but it really can help your own
peace of mind.
“This is something we strive to reiterate to our clients. It is
not an excuse, but it is an explanation.” Marsha Thomason,
CADC, ICADC, Sage Recovery LLC. Boise, Idaho