TEEN DEPRESSION / SUICIDE
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Hopelessness , humiliation , emptiness , loss and confusion . These are all words that so many of us have felt at one time or another . Stemming from school , home , from friends , lost relationships , physical illness or disability , from being bullied , or maybe it ’ s about hating ourselves for whatever we feel we lack , or maybe we can ’ t even put our finger on where it is coming from . But the feelings are there , nonetheless .
Sometimes these feelings are just always there . A dull constant ache . Sometimes these feelings hit and hit hard . You can feel it in your stomach , there ’ s tightness in your chest , heaviness in your legs . There may be headaches , or shortness of breath . The effects are nearly endless . Sometimes you have a couple of good days , then , in an instant , the feelings are all back again .
Sometimes it ’ s the painful thoughts that hurt the most . Sometimes it ’ s feeling nothing at all – numb . Sometimes it is the desolate emptiness . Perhaps the most painful is that it seems like we are the only one who feels this way . That the entire rest of the world is going about their lives with little care in the world , but we are here , dealing with this relentless barrage of feelings .
At its worst , thoughts of suicide enter our minds and suicide becomes a viable option . After all , “ at least in death , I will no longer feel this pain .” But , while I am in no way underestimating the pain you are feeling , there is another side to this . Before we endure even one more day of pain and most certainly before we attempt to end our lives , we should consider these thoughts :
1 . Who has these feelings ? The fact is that everyone experiences these feelings sometimes . It ’ s natural . Even for those who seem to not have a care in the world . Don ’ t let them fool you . Sometimes they have these feelings , too . While these feelings are natural , it ’ s important to not let them take over your life , or cause you or anyone else harm .
2 . What are these feelings ? These feelings are all signals we all get that tell us there is something wrong , and that there is something we should do to correct an uncomfortable or unsafe situation . The feelings , themselves , can ’ t hurt you . It ’ s what you do with them that can . The key is not getting sucked into these feelings , getting stuck there until something terrible happens .
How can I help myself ?
• First , identify exactly what you ’ re feeling . Being very specific will help you deal with it . For instance , knowing if its anger , hurt or frustration you ’ re feeling , and where it ’ s coming from , will help you to respond to it most successfully . Pinpointing the feeling and the issue is key .
• Once you can identify that , then , identify the things about the situation that you can control . Very often , when we experience these feelings , we feel out of control , helpless – like there ’ s nothing we can do about it . In reality , there is always something we can control – something we can do . Write down your options .
• Then pick one thing you will do and then do it . It may not solve your problem completely , but it will empower you to begin to take control of parts of your life , and not let others control all of it for you . Keep in mind that hurting others is never the answer .
• This keeps you from trying to control things and people you can ’ t . For instance , you may not be able to stop a classmate from calling you names , but you can control how you will feel about it and how you will respond .
If you are feeling sad –
• Identify exactly why you are sad . Sometimes everything can seem terrible , when in reality , there is something specific . This helps to keep the feeling manageable .
• Allow your brain to take a break from the sadness . Seek out other things to think about . Even if it is for just a couple of moments . Every moment that your brain is not focusing on the sadness , you are getting stronger .
• Find anything you can that brings you any kind of happiness and focus on that – take it in – savor it .
• Be active . Exercise ; read ; write ; do artwork ; create something – anything constructive refocuses your mind and strengthens you .
• Create an emergency plan . If at some point it gets just too much to take , then have a plan of what you will do or who you will go to for help .
• If you can ’ t identify exactly what is making you sad , it might be that you are just generally sad – even depressed . Consider talking with a counselor .
40 | Iowa Fall / Winter 2013-2014 | abusemagazine . org
Source : By Gary Weinstein