TEEN DEPRESSION / SUICIDE
Photo Source: pittingtoncounseling. com
Hopelessness, humiliation, emptiness, loss and confusion. These are all words that so many of us have felt at one time or another. Stemming from school, home, from friends, lost relationships, physical illness or disability, from being bullied, or maybe it’ s about hating ourselves for whatever we feel we lack, or maybe we can’ t even put our finger on where it is coming from. But the feelings are there, nonetheless.
Sometimes these feelings are just always there. A dull constant ache. Sometimes these feelings hit and hit hard. You can feel it in your stomach, there’ s tightness in your chest, heaviness in your legs. There may be headaches, or shortness of breath. The effects are nearly endless. Sometimes you have a couple of good days, then, in an instant, the feelings are all back again.
Sometimes it’ s the painful thoughts that hurt the most. Sometimes it’ s feeling nothing at all – numb. Sometimes it is the desolate emptiness. Perhaps the most painful is that it seems like we are the only one who feels this way. That the entire rest of the world is going about their lives with little care in the world, but we are here, dealing with this relentless barrage of feelings.
At its worst, thoughts of suicide enter our minds and suicide becomes a viable option. After all,“ at least in death, I will no longer feel this pain.” But, while I am in no way underestimating the pain you are feeling, there is another side to this. Before we endure even one more day of pain and most certainly before we attempt to end our lives, we should consider these thoughts:
1. Who has these feelings? The fact is that everyone experiences these feelings sometimes. It’ s natural. Even for those who seem to not have a care in the world. Don’ t let them fool you. Sometimes they have these feelings, too. While these feelings are natural, it’ s important to not let them take over your life, or cause you or anyone else harm.
2. What are these feelings? These feelings are all signals we all get that tell us there is something wrong, and that there is something we should do to correct an uncomfortable or unsafe situation. The feelings, themselves, can’ t hurt you. It’ s what you do with them that can. The key is not getting sucked into these feelings, getting stuck there until something terrible happens.
How can I help myself?
• First, identify exactly what you’ re feeling. Being very specific will help you deal with it. For instance, knowing if its anger, hurt or frustration you’ re feeling, and where it’ s coming from, will help you to respond to it most successfully. Pinpointing the feeling and the issue is key.
• Once you can identify that, then, identify the things about the situation that you can control. Very often, when we experience these feelings, we feel out of control, helpless – like there’ s nothing we can do about it. In reality, there is always something we can control – something we can do. Write down your options.
• Then pick one thing you will do and then do it. It may not solve your problem completely, but it will empower you to begin to take control of parts of your life, and not let others control all of it for you. Keep in mind that hurting others is never the answer.
• This keeps you from trying to control things and people you can’ t. For instance, you may not be able to stop a classmate from calling you names, but you can control how you will feel about it and how you will respond.
If you are feeling sad –
• Identify exactly why you are sad. Sometimes everything can seem terrible, when in reality, there is something specific. This helps to keep the feeling manageable.
• Allow your brain to take a break from the sadness. Seek out other things to think about. Even if it is for just a couple of moments. Every moment that your brain is not focusing on the sadness, you are getting stronger.
• Find anything you can that brings you any kind of happiness and focus on that – take it in – savor it.
• Be active. Exercise; read; write; do artwork; create something – anything constructive refocuses your mind and strengthens you.
• Create an emergency plan. If at some point it gets just too much to take, then have a plan of what you will do or who you will go to for help.
• If you can’ t identify exactly what is making you sad, it might be that you are just generally sad – even depressed. Consider talking with a counselor.
40 | Iowa Fall / Winter 2013-2014 | abusemagazine. org
Source: By Gary Weinstein