A LETTER TO MY MOTHER
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HE SENT ME TO THE STORE AND I HAD TO ASK THE STORE OWNER WHAT TO DO, TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF IN THAT SITUATION. YOU WASNT THERE WHEN MY SISTER, (IT WASNT JUST ME, IT WAS 2 OF US, MY SISTER WAS A YEAR YOUNGER IT JUST SEEMS LIKE ALL THE BAD THINGS HAPPEND TO ME BECAUSE I WAS SO SHY AND QUIET). YOU WAS NOT THERE WHEN MY DAD LEFT US AT THIS WOMAN'S HOUSE AND SHE AND HER MAN TRIED TO FUCK ME. I HAD TO RUN. BUT YOU MEET MY SISTER AND I AT 16 & 15 YEARS OLD AND YOU FELT LIKE YOU WANTED TO TAKE OVER. FUNNY THING WAS YOU DIDNT COME TO STAY. YOU JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW WE LOOKED.
THEN YOU LEFT. REMEMBER THE NEXT TIME I SAW YOU? IGOT PREGNANT AND YOU CAME TO ASK ME TO GIVE YOU MY BABY'S CLOTHES SO THAT YOU COULD GIVE IT TO MY OLDER SISTER WHO HAD A KID AROUND THE SAME TIME. I COULDNT BELIEVE YOU HAD THE BALLS TO EVEN ASK. BUT YOU SURELY DID. I EVEN WROTE YOU A LETTER TELLING YOU HOW FUCKED UP I THOUGHT IT WAS. WHAT DID YOU DI INSTEAD? YOU BLAMED YOUR MISSCARIAGE ON ME! YOU SAID I MADE YOU UPSET BY THE THINGS I WROTE IN THE LETTER I SENT YOU. FUCKING LIAR! LET ME ASK. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE? LAST TIME I COUNTED IT WAS 10. WHERE ARE THEY AND WHOS TAKING CARE OF THEM? ALL THE KIDS YOU HAD YOU GAVE AWAY. IF THEIR DADDIES AINT TAKING CARE OF THEM, THEIR FAMILY WAS. SAME THING APPLIES TO MY SISTER, YOU LEFT US WHEN I WAS A YEAR OLD AND U WENT PARTYING FOR DAYS! MY DAD CAME TO VISIT US AND SAW US DIRTY N HUNGRY WITH THAT OLD MAN WHO WAS UR DADDY. HE TOOK US HOME WITH HIM AND HE HAD US EVER SINCE. YOU NEVER CAME TO FIND US! AS SOON AS I LEARNED HOW TO WRITE I WAS WRITING YOU LETTERS AND YOU NEVER RESPOND!
A LETTER TO MY MOTHER
DEAR JOY,
I HATE YOU. IVE HATED YOU EVER SINCE THE DAY I MET YOU. I REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. I WAS 16 YEARS OLD. YOU CAME TO VISIT. I GUESS ALL THE YEARS OF WRITING YOU LETTERS BEGGING AND PLEADING THAT YOU COME GET ME AND MY SISTER BCUZ WE NEED OUR MOM FINALLY GOT TO YOU. EITHER WAY THAT DOESNT MATTER. YOU WASNT THERE WHE I WAS 8 YEARS OLD AND GOT MOLESTED. YOU WAS NOT THERE WHEN I GOT RAPED AT 14 YEARS OLD. BET YOU DIDNT KNOW THAT EVEN HAPPENED DID YOU? AS A MATTER OF FACT NO ONE KNEW. I DIDNT EVEN TELL IT TO MY DAD OUT OF FEAR OF LOSING HIM. BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME I GOT MOLESTED I TOLD HIM AND HE CHOPPED THE DUDE WITH A MACHETE. WE HAD TO MOVE. SO I KEPT THAT TO MYSELF. ALL THESE YEARS. YOU WAS NOT THERE WHEN I HAD MY FIRST PERIOD. HAVING TO GO TO MY FATHER WHO IS ILLITERATE MIGHT I ADD. HE ONLY KNOWS TO SPELL HIS NAME. I HAD TO GO TO HIM AND TELL HIM I HAVE BLOOD BETWEEN MY LEGS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?