what to do! They want to be told what to do. They
want a program to fit into. A prior lack of freedom in
our churches has not served people well.
This leaves us with genuine relationships and a group
of people that are passionately growing in grace. This
is where the confusion came in for me. I have found
that victims of the Over-Churched Syndrome often
negatively view a non-controlling, free environment
as a place lacking in opportunity. I hear comments
like, 'I'm not sure what I want to do’ nearly always
followed by ‘I'm not sure this is where God wants me’.
While people are free to leave for wherever else they
may choose, I know that, if they stay here, they will
experience freedom and joy in Christ, perhaps for the
first time.
I began to ask them about their passions and what
they want to do with their lives. A typical answer is
something like, ‘I just want to do what God wants
for me’. That's code for, ‘I don't know who I am apart
from the church telling me what to do’. I began to see
a connection.
Over-Churched people are uncomfortable in an environment where they are not told specifically what to
do.
Over-Churched people are
uncomfortable in an environment
where they are not told specifically
what to do.
They have been part of the other type of system for so
long that they've never developed a personal ministry.
In processing this issue, I would sometimes feel like
I was failing them in not helping them connect to
‘God's purpose’ for their lives.
If we were to look for blame, we could find plenty on both parts – the church system as well as the
individual – but I'd rather look for a solution. Once
I recognized the root issue of their dependency on
being controlled, I sought the Lord about how to best
help these people. I felt like the response was to leave
them alone. The way to set these people free from
their molded religious past is to be very intentional
about not telling them what to do. It’s true that they
may leave your church; however, they may also learn
to think for themselves for the first time and truly
discover their purpose. These are people genuinely
seeking God, they've just never had the opportunity
in a church setting to be free – to be themselves and
to make their own decisions.
In follow-up conversations, I noticed sometimes they
would begin to lean on me more than on the Holy
Spirit. I would back off and simply have a regular conversation rather than flipping into ‘Pastor Mode’ and
begin teaching them something. (You Pastors know
what I'm talking about: a good Pastor knows when to
shut up and inspire people to trust God.) As Pastors,
we need to resist the urge to be the Holy Spirit for
people and just focus on developing the friendship.
As Pastors, we need to resist the
urge to be the Holy Spirit for
people and just focus on
developing the friendship.
A few people with the Over-Churched Syndrome left
our church two or three times before finally realizing
that they could just be themselves and enjoy being
part of the family without having to find their place of
service.
A heart yielded to the Holy Spirit is much more effective than any discipleship program we can develop.
Leave them alone and trust God. Certainly, teach
them about becoming empowered by grace from the
heart, but let the Holy Spirit do His job. Let's trust the
Holy Spirit for people more than we trust ourselves
for them. In doing so, we will build healthy churches
and people will experience a level of freedom and
spiritual maturity they never before knew possible.
A heart yielded to the Holy Spirit
is much more effective than
any discipleship program
we can develop.
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