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total victory. It hopped down from the ceiling fan, landed casually on the kitchen counter, and grabbed a final walnut from the bowl. It didn’ t even run away in fear. Instead, it sat there for a solid thirty seconds, chewing loudly and staring down at its vanquished foe with what Mr. Ryan swears was an expression of pure smugness before jumping out of the window.
The subsequent trip to the urgent care clinic only added insult to injury. Holding a bag of a frozen vegetable mix to his rapidly swelling eye, Mr. Ryan had to explain to a highly skeptical group of nurses exactly how a wild squirrel encounter had resulted in concussion-level blunt force trauma. The medical staff tried to remain professional, but by the time the doctor was looping the eighth stitch to his forehead, whispers of“ the squirrel guy” had already echoed through the entire hallway. He left the clinic with a prescription for antibiotics and a permanently damaged sense of pride.
When he walked into his second-period English class Monday morning, the atmosphere was dead silent. He tried to maintain his usual, hawk-like presence, but it can be extremely difficult to maintain authority when the left side of your face looks like a bruised eggplant. Rumors immediately began to fly across the classroom about what might have happened. Some people said that Mr. Ryan had saved a dog from a burning building, while others speculated he was moonlighting as an underground streetfighter.
The rest of the school spent the rest of the week thinking that Mr. Ryan was the head of a fight club, but I knew the real story. It was just a squirrel that caused this chaos and the destruction of his kitchen. Shhhh, don’ t tell anyone. Mr. Ryan has a reputation to maintain.
~ Emre E.
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