suspects , pre-prepared verbal flourishes . He anticipates that this particular epigram will appear in the old man ’ s Sunday Times column before too long . ‘ I get what you ’ re saying – she ’ s a little rich for my blood too – but you have to look at why we keep losing . Last time we were in power , what did we do with it ? We hemmed and we hawed – we dithered and made excuses and ran down the clock until election time when we went to the country asking for permission to do the same all over again . Our voters wanted real change while we were minding shop , pruning the begonias . But if she does even half of what she says she ’ s going to do –’ the old man raises his eyebrows at this and the young man hurriedly qualifies , ‘– I mean , not the blood and soil stuff , obviously , but you and I both know she ’ s only saying that to get the base excited . But on security , the economy , education – the real bread and butter issues . If she manages to do just half the things she promises , then who cares if she bulldozes over a few constitutional peonies in the process ?’
The old man sighs and the young man braces for a stern rebuttal . ‘ First of all , “ the last time we were in power ”? Forgive me , I ’ m getting on a bit , but I don ’ t seem to recall you being there . In fact , I seem to recall that you were hardly out of the nursery –’ ‘ Sixth Form College , and I was already involved at the grassroots , but I hardly see how –’ ‘ Ours is a serious party of government , some might say the natural party of government , but nature of late doth change her wonted liveries . You may be too young , or too impatient to see it , but pruning the begonias is governing , and I daresay , we planted most of those peonies you ’ re now so desperate to trample over . You ’ d do well to remember that when you ’ re defending our record on the doorstep . I took enough of a reputational risk getting you in in the first place without having to worry about you trashing the brand .’
The young man knew that any disagreement would sooner or later circle back to a reminder of the debt he owed the old man . He had been a weak candidate – only twenty-six at the time of the last election and parachuted into a constituency on the other side of the country after the party ’ s preferred candidate was forced to withdraw amid scandal ( cocaine , hookers , nipple clamps ). The old man had put in a good word to get him selected for the seat and he had joined him canvassing on doorsteps – his minor celebrity status drumming up publicity that a firsttime candidate could otherwise only have dreamt of . In other words , it was the old man wot won it for him .
Or in any case , that was what the old man thought . Though he would never say it , the young man saw things differently . The old man had charmed pensioners and wooed the yummy mummies . He had kissed babies ’ heads and clinked pints of ale in wood-panelled pubs , and that had been great , and the young man had appreciated it , but those were the voters who would
Paddy Brennan 39