he grazes his knees and his mother kisses them . But as soon as the doll is in his possession he finds himself tossing it around like he does his hoop . Then he sees the other boys and has to pretend he ’ s only taken it to torment his sister and let them take turns trampling over its twisted material body . With this , there slowly grows in him a feeling of power . It ’ s stronger , more satisfying , than when he pins other boys , enemy boys from the other street , to the floor and punches their teeth out . This feeling is better because it ’ s like he fully possesses another person , someone who is fully at his command . He can twist this cloth till it almost tears .
But the bit with the candle is honestly an accident . He knows how much the doll matters to his sister . He doesn ’ t want to destroy it completely . He ’ s just angry that she has a connection to something that he doesn ’ t , a feeling that she can access that he can ’ t . But he isn ’ t aware of what that thing is , or why he even wants it . So instead , when the doll catches alight , instead of crying like he wants to , he laughs at his sister as she cradles that broken little body in her arms . ‘ We ’ ll make you another one , Ida . Don ’ t be a baby !’ But he knows , even before his sister pouts at him , that the doll isn ’ t replaceable , not really .
***
‘ Put the bleedin ’ curtain down !’
Joseph was trying , but it was stuck , and the panic was catching in his throat , immobilising his hands . He was struck still , caught in the blaring image of Ida emblazoned with flames , her whole body alight , arms still stretched above her head , knees still bent as though about to pirouette .
He ’ d heard of dresses catching fire on lamps before – it was the muslin , you see , so light it would float – but he never thought he ’ d actually witness it . She looked … celestial . Like the pictures of biblical saints with light around their heads . Except now she was starting to scream . The audience could see everything . Britain ’ s rising star cast from the sky in a shower of sparks . Squeezing the rail of his box , Mr Evans hissed between his teeth . Drat ! Another lost investment . If it wasn ’ t one falling through a faulty trapdoor and breaking their legs it was this . They were so careless with his commodities . No audience is going to want to lay eyes on her after this , he thought . And I certainly am not going to want to fuck her . *** Sweat and blood and rage . Sweat and blood and rage , rage , rage . No rest , no food , just an aching hunger for success . Creaking floorboards and coiling ropes and snaking bandages . Legs Petit Rat 14