The gentleman consumed Ida ’ s body with his eyes . He brushed one long finger across a new bruise on Ida ’ s arm . ‘ Like a peach ,’ he muttered . ‘ Who ’ s paying for her lessons ?’ ‘ The mother . Starvin ’ ‘ erself to afford ‘ em looks like .’ ‘ So you want to be a star , do you , Ida ? Dance in the footsteps of the great Taglioni ?’ Ida nodded feverishly . ‘ Well , be careful to keep your bruises to places you can cover . Don ’ t want to spoil such delicate skin . A performance is all about image . You wouldn ’ t paint a picture with a dirty brush , after all .’
***
A girl ’ s mother makes her a doll out of old rags . It has no definite feminine shape and yet it is treated like a little girl so therefore it becomes a little girl . The daughter becomes very attached to the doll . She is never seen without that dirty little scrap in her hand . She does not mind that it has no blonde ringlets or pearl buttons or lace collars or that day after day it is stained with ash and mud . She herself wears rags , and socks with holes in , and sometimes nothing on her feet at all . Her own cheeks are constantly smudged with dirt . She feels like her and the doll are the same and for that reason she feels protective over it , maternal . When she cradles it in her arms , she feels , somehow , as though she is cradling herself , the way her mother once cradled her , until she became old enough to use a sewing needle and was set on a stool next to her older sisters to mend clothes every day .
One day , her naughty brother steals the doll . For hours , she searches the streets and back alleys for her lost little angel , while her brother drops the doll in muddy puddles , carts it around with him while he helps ol ’ Rick deliver vegetables for a copper coin , throws it against the brick wall . He gives poor dolly to a mangy stray , which takes it in its drooling jaws and rags it up and down the cobbles . Finally , he sets it alight on the candle at the table . This last bit is an accident . He had intended to return the doll to his sister at the end of the day . He just wanted to give her a break from it for a while , to show her that it wasn ’ t actually a real person , just a bunch of cloth . He finds it so odd the way she treats it like it has feelings , carefully feeding it some of her porridge ( how can she tell where its mouth ’ s supposed to be ?), brushing it as though it has hair , tucking it into bed beside her at night and singing it a lullaby . It ’ s ridiculous . This is what he tells her when she finds the charred remains on the table .
But he isn ’ t being fully truthful . He has been infected with the doll ’ s reality , its human essence , as much as his sister . He steals the doll because she seems to get something out of taking care of it , something more than play . Something that reminds him of how he feels when
Kaya Purchase 13