3
JANE Sometimes . But at the end of the day , I always wound up alone in my room . And … with my thoughts . I couldn ’ t stop the thoughts .
You weren ’ t good enough .
ELLA
JANE Or pretty enough . Or smart enough . Not fast enough . Not clever enough . Nothing was enough . I come from a family of literary lovers . Professors . Discussions of “ Outside the Doll House . Exploring images of Females in Scandinavian Theatre ” were considered good dinnertime conversation .
Out of my league .
ELLA
JANE Mine , too . Plus I had no interest so I retired to my room and mourned my shortcomings .
With a razor .
Yes .
You don ’ t …
ELLA
JANE
ELLA
JANE “ Hike ” anymore . No . I was pushing friends away . I fell for a guy – and he was pretty appalled . When he saw my stash of bloody tissues , he told my parents .
My parents can ’ t know .
ELLA
JANE You never know . My parents already suspected . There are only so many places you can stash stuff . After the hurt looks and some tears , we talked .
And that fixed it ?
ELLA
JANE Wish it was that easy . First , I wasn ’ t ready . Second : I liked the sensation . And then I got tired of trying to hide it . And finally – I just got tired . Tired of my doubts . It took some time and a whole