EMPLOYMENT
DATING TIPS
For neurotypicals dating
a person with autism:
• Don’t expect the expected.
Sometimes the way a person
on the spectrum expresses
themselves may look differ-
ent from everyone else, but
even if they are not speak-
ing, they are still communi-
cating with you.
• Drop anvils, not hints.
Individuals with autism
aren’t always able to pick up
on subtle hints or cues. We
will always be upfront and
honest with you, so please
be upfront and honest
with us.
• Don’t take it personally.
Autistic people often need
time alone to “recharge our
batteries.” This does not
mean we don’t care about
someone or don’t want to
be around them, but that
we need time to process
information and the events
of the day. It’s not personal
— it’s autism.
For autistic people
dating a neurotypical:
• Don’t come on too strong.
It’s normal to have strong
feelings for someone, but
if you’ve just met, tel ling
someone you really like
them puts a lot of pressure
on that person. Give it time.
• Be yourself. Sometimes
when you like someone, you
want to do things for them,
including changing who you
are so they will like you
better. This is exhausting,
and unfair both to you and
to them. Be who you are,
because no one else
can do that.
• Take a break! Take time
for yourself and engaging
in self-care. If the person
you’re with tries to make
you feel bad for this, they
are insecure and do not
truly care about you.
You deserve better!
— AMY GRAVINO
LESSONS TO LEARN
ADULTS WITH AUTISM TAUGHT LIFE AND JOB SKILLS AT NEW FACILITY
T
WRITTEN BY LINDY WASHBURN
urning 21 is a time when
most people celebrate their
first steps into adulthood. But
for young people with autism
and their families, turning
21 means the end of their
school-funded programs.
It’s a stressful time, when their families
— with financial help from the state —
must put together the services that will
sustain them.
In some places in New Jersey, families
that banded together more than two
decades ago to establish schools for their
young children have set to work again.
They’ve extended the schools’ mission,
raised funds and built new facilities to
serve their now grown-up kids: adults
with autism.
Students of the Institute for Educational
Achievement in New Milford who have
“aged out” of its educational program can
continue learning in a new, $6 million
“adult life skills” building next door.
Another center for autism education,
the Alpine Learning Group in Paramus,
launched its adult services in 2004 and
moved into a state-of-the-art facility in
2015.
“There’s a big need in New Jersey
for education for adult learners” with
autism,” says Eric Rozenblat, co-director
of the institute in New Milford.
The two-story life-skills building
includes a large kitchen, where young
adults learn how to make their own
meals; a gym, with treadmills, an exercise
bike and showers; offices with desks
and computers; a laundry room, and a
lounge with television, video games and
magazines, to learn ways to spend leisure
time.
All of the program’s current par-
ticipants have paying jobs. Job coaches
accompany them, to help not only with
the tasks but the social interactions of life
at work.
Eventually, the institute plans to enroll
30 adults, as they age out of its school
next door, Rozenblat says.
THE TRANSITION TO ADULTHOOD
IS A CRITICAL TIME
Students at the Institute for Edu-
cational Achievement and other schools
have made progress — through years
of intensive one-on-one therapy using a
technique called applied behavior analysis
— in communication, social interaction,
taking care of themselves, and performing
job-related tasks. But when that education
stops, they risk relapsing and losing those
gains.
“They go from getting on the school bus
five days a week, some with after-school
programming and in-home support, to
the next day having fewer services,” when
their entitlement to education ends at age
21, says Suzanne Buchanan, executive
director of Autism New Jersey, a nonprofit
advocacy and policy group. “A lot of
families describe it to us as falling off a
services cliff.”
Although schools are legally mandated
to develop a “transition plan” for students
with disabilities, more than 60 percent
of young adults on the autism spectrum
nationally do not get jobs or continue their
studies or training within the first two
years of leaving high school, a 2015 report
by the A.J. Drexel Autism Institute found.
In New Jersey, an “adults with autism
task force” was established by law and
issued a report and recommendations
in 2009. Services are coordinated
and funded through the Division of
Developmental Disabilities of the state
Department of Human Services. ●
SPECIAL PARENT
SP-27