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QUESTION 5: Do you and your partner often discuss routine money goals (like budgeting, spending, or saving for retirement)? QUESTION 4: Are you a spender and your lover a saver (or vice versa)? It’s actually quite common for financial opposites to attract. But those differences don’t mean the relationship is doomed or that you’re destined to have constant money battles — as long as you’re both willing to compromise. Cash tip: Try using cash more often than credit cards to fund your lifestyle. Utah State University researcher Jeffrey Dew says thrifty couples who don’t overspend tend to be the happiest of all, while those in debt have lower marriage satisfaction. Open communication is a strong sign of a healthy relationship. According to an Ameriprise Financial study, most happy couples, talk about and agree on financial goals and shared responsibilities. In fact, 68 percent of these happy couples rate their communication on financial matters as good or perfect. QUESTION 6: Do you and your partner have a financial “safe word?” Many of us have heard about “safe words” in the bedroom. But if things get too heated when you discuss money matters, having a safe word or phrase can help during financial conversations, too. Two basic examples: saying “please stop” or “let’s regroup” can help establish boundaries, or convey that one or both of you needs to cool down and talk later. The point is to maintain respect for one anoth- er — even if you disagree — and to avoid having every financial conversation become a dispute about something. If it’s too hard to talk to your spouse about money, or your conversations often wind up in an argument, a third-party financial counselor, coach or trusted adviser can help. B Lynnette Khalfani-Cox is a personal finance expert and co-founder of AskTheMoneyCoach.com and Money Coach University. She is the author of 12 money-management books including the New York Times bestseller Zero Debt. (201) BRIDE | SUMMER/FALL 2018 53