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but perhaps should . “ People don ’ t want to even think about that ,” she says . To save the family , you might need to quit the business .
7 . Check in with yourself
How to tell if you ’ re feeling garden-level anxiety or something more serious that ’ s a mental health issue ? Lang says the most common signs are panic attacks , acute anxiety , insomnia and a
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drop in performance . Blackwood says maybe you ’ re unable to focus on a task ( like doing the accounting books ) that you can normally do in your sleep , or perhaps you can ’ t remember the directions to a place you ’ ve driven to a million times . “ You may really be having an anxiety issue or depression issue that , if untreated , is bound to get worse ,” says Blackwood . “ And in a family environment , compound it 10-times .”
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8 . Normalize empathy
This starts with leadership . Make empathy a common practice . Blackwood recommends before you plunge into a staff meeting , for example , start by asking , How are we feeling ? What ’ s on your plate ? After her team had missed a few deadlines , she tried this in her own staff meeting . She was surprised to learn that one colleague had an elderly mother who had just come down with COVID-19 and was worried her mother would die . “ Had I not taken a moment to have that conversation , I would have approached it in absolutely the wrong way ,” says Blackwood . “ They wouldn ’ t have heard me , it would have been insensitive , and I wouldn ’ t have gotten the outcome I needed .” Once they connected as humans , then they could “ talk about this business problem that we all wanted to solve .”
9 . Communicate , communicate , communicate
Obvious ? Perhaps . But somehow it ’ s often overlooked . Lang recommends regular family meetings , even if it ’ s just once every other month . Glassman says steady communication and check-ins are critical for spotting incapacity issues , as “ incapacity issues don ’ t happen overnight . They ’ re ongoing . You ’ ll be able to see signs , but if you ’ re not engaged , you won ’ t see the warning signs .” He says this logic holds true not just for elders , but for detecting mental health issues with anyone in the business .
10 . Remember the upside
And finally , on a more hopeful note , Davis says that “ When a family business works it ’ s really , really cool . It can set up that lineage , so to speak , for generations . But it does require a high degree of communication . And a lot of humility .”
Jeff Wilser is the author of seven books , most recently “ Becoming a Firefighter ,” from Simon & Schuster ’ s Masters at Work series . On Twitter @ jeffwilser .
68 comstocksmag . com | October 2021