EVIL HR LADY
DILEMMA OF THE MONTH
Can I Still Be Friends With My New Supervisor ?
BY Suzanne Lucas
ILLUSTRATION : JOHN CHASE
I have worked alongside my colleague Mary for more than 10 years . We ’ ve worked great together and become wonderful friends . Recently , Mary was promoted to the department head , supervising four other workers and me . She seems like a different person now , and I think she ’ s harder on me than the others , perhaps to prove that our friendship won ’ t affect her performance . What can I do to remedy this — and keep our friendship ?
This is a complicated situation . Mary is right to distance herself from you , and it hurts , and I ’ m sorry . But if she ’ s going to be a good manager , you mustn ’ t be friends anymore . You can still be friendly with each other , but she can ’ t be an effective manager and have a close friend in the department . It makes things very difficult for everyone .
But right now , it ’ s difficult for you , and because everyone knows you were friends , she ’ s probably a bit harsh on you to prove to everyone else that she won ’ t show you any favoritism . That ’ s not fair either . So here are some ideas on how to improve the situation .
Ask for a meeting
Sit down with Mary and say , “ I understand that your new position means we can ’ t maintain the friendship like we used to , and this makes me really sad . I miss you as a friend .”
Let her respond and , hopefully , she ’ ll express her regret about your relationship . At that point , you can bring up that she ’ s harder on you than the other employees . Use “ I ” statements rather than “ you ” statements .
14 comstocksmag . com | July 2021