Faith's Domestic Violence Story
Faith's domestic abuse story follows Faith's journey from innocent 19 year old with dreams and aspirations, to a life of domestic abuse, including not just emotional, verbal and financial abuse, but also sexual abuse - and finally freedom from her domestic abuse story:
To describe the words 'hurt' and 'betrayed' is beyond what I endured, beyond what any victim of abuse endures.
I thought I had met the man of my dreams; he seemed perfect, but now that I am no longer with him. I see that there were red flags from the day one, but I chose to brush the domestic abuse signs aside, biggest mistake ever.
Before I truly begin my domestic abuse story, let me tell how my life was before I met the most evil person I have ever known. I was 19 at that time, full of hope and great passions. I was content with life, I made friends easily and pretty much enjoyed life. I had decided that I would date after I had finished university, which to me made sense at that time, things were going according to plan.
Until, I met Steve. We instantly hit it off; he was charming and seemed very wonderful. He was older than me by 5 years, but it didn't bother me. He was a different religion to me too, but it never bothered me either. We got pretty intimate pretty soon, it's weird looking back but I never enjoyed being physical with him. There was just something about him which was controlling and manipulative. The domestic abuse I endured was mainly verbal, physical and constant threats, but also sexual abuse, though I did not recognise it as such at the time.
If I did not answer my phone he would go mad and call me every single name under the sun. Every day I had to send him pics of the outfits I was wearing out, so that he could deem them as modest and acceptable. I did that because at that time although it was wrong I felt powerless. Steve, would tell me who to see, when to see them, and what to do. My life which was once care-free and fun completely changed. I felt like a prisoner. I began losing weight, he would make sly comments like 'eat fruits and salads to shed weight ... if you lose weight you will look good'. Throughout my life I was never overweight, I was always healthy, but he made me feel like I was nothing.
To make it worse, he would say things like 'I love the way that girl over there looks, the way her hair flows and her body is amazing' this one time, whilst we were out he said 'excuse give me a minute to look at that girl'. I was shattered inside beyond repair, I had no voice. He would say it to hurt me and be spiteful. He was a very spiteful man. I never felt good enough or perfect enough, he would always make me feel like I was lower than dirt on the floor.
They were few occasions, he would lock me in his car and he would force me to have sex. So many occasions, he would threaten me, but one day whilst we lay on the bed I was just getting tired of him. I told him 'No' and he got on top of me, and started forcing his lips on me, I pushed away and I told him 'No', he smirked and had this evil look in his eye. I told him 'No I don't want to', he replied 'you need to obey me'. I pushed him off and turned my back towards him. He got up and sat on the sofa, I got up and said, you're not talking to me because I said no to sleeping with you. He ignored me and looked aside. Deep down I wanted to hit him for the pain he was causing me, that's when I knew this was no life. No life at all. To make it worse, after that, I found out he had signed up for a dating websites and was chatting to other girls. I was devasted, not only was he abusive - he was cheating. I confronted him, and he told me, it was all lies and denied everything. Instead, he put the blame on me and forced me to apologise. He always played this victim who supposedly had a bad childhood and no one gave him chance, which I fell for. I apologised, but I was dying inside, I had no strength for anything at all. I felt like I was losing my sanity, nothing was making sense. I was hurting and confused. Even when I cried, he would look at me and ignore me.
Day by day all I had strength for was to cry, I found it hard to focus, hard to go out, hard to pray or even have faith. My heart was bleeding. Steve's abuse was getting worse and worse and worse. He would insult my family, friends. Everything I loved. What hurts me, is that he had control over my finances, over everything in my life.
Everyone around me was saying, how much I had changed; I was now skinny and hardly ate. I had neither strength nor self-esteem. The more I tried to be a good girlfriend, the more he got evil.