6. Consider opening your own saving account, so if you leave you will have money.
7. If you plan to escape, make sure you have a plan and review it.
8. Take special care. If you think your partner is going to stalk you, try not to leave a trail.
9. Put together an escape bag with important things and leave it in a safe spot, such as a friends house or a locker that you will be able to acess at any time of the day.
** Also always remember to have a backup plan if your first plan doesnt work**
Advice from people who have been a victim in dating violence...
Katherine:
If I could come and help you leave I would but it is you who has to do it. Leaving permanently is the only thing that will change the situation. You cant make him better no matter how much you love him. It is NOT your fault, it is his. You are a wonderful person and deserve so much better.
You are not alone, there are many people who know what you are going through. Reach out to people and contact support groups like those who own this website, they are the experts. Most of all believe in yourself and know you are strong.
Jenna:
I know how difficult it is to leave, how much you want to believe the justifications and excuses. I know it’s difficult to get the energy to plan a way to get out when you are living day to day just trying not to provoke an angry outburst.
But you can do it. Just take the first step: get help. There are services out there who will understand. Call them. Find ways to build your confidence, and keep your focusing on yourself and your children.
We are supposed to believe that children need their fathers. But this all depends on what their father is like. Believe me, children are better in a happy, stable environment with one caring parent, than living with two parents in an unhappy, tense atmosphere.
Ann:
Abuse doesn’t get better if you don’t do anything; it just keeps getting worse. You have to be your own friend. You have to have compassion for yourself. You have to forgive yourself. You deserve better. You are a precious human being and you deserve to be treated with respect. And you can’t ever give up. Don’t hurt yourself. Hang in there – you are not alone.
Lena:
DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT! Keep everything at work or a friend’s home. Take pictures, keep articles of clothing with blood, keep the broken items, make copies of keys, take all important paperwork and family momentos. It’s easy to say “GET OUT”, but I know what it feels like wanting to give a fifth, sixth, and seventh chance.
Someday you will have strength, someday you will leave – you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be loved. Someday you will find the strength and you will have the evidence you will need to keep him away from you for good.
** Shared stories from dvrcv.org**