Digital publication | Page 38

I instead  am 

Losing  myself  for the sake of being attractive 

Life is not  about 

Finally accepting my flaws 

It  was  easier to love myself  when  

I restricted  and counted  calories 

I realize what an awful life I  would  be living  if 

chose to eat intuitively  instead, for 

Being malnourished  is  better than  obesity 

I deny  that 

My body  is meant to be loved, not  hated 

Each day, I wake up and am reminded  that 

Self-love is  selfish 

Nothing you say can convince  me  

I am worthy of having  a place  on this  planet 

Let it be said  that 

If I were beautiful, I would be happy 

No longer can I  convince  myself 

I am fortunate to  be gifted with this  body 

When thoughts of doubts slip into my mind, I remember 

I  am  ugly 

Only when I am  severely  underweight 

I  am  evolving into  my best  self 

My hard work is paying off because I can see that

I am falling  apart 

I could never forget the look  in my loved ones’ eyes as they told  me 

I am beautiful  and will always  be 

I know  that, regardless, 

I will never be pretty in  the  eyes  of  society 

I acknowledge  that 

I am weak and  pathetic 

No future  me  will  believe 

Internal happiness  is something worth searching for 

Losing weight remains  my  only  priority 

No longer will I say  that 

I want to be healthy 

Shopping in the plus-sized section  is a  sin 

It is a lie t hat 

can live on, knowing that they are just words 

If I am defined as “overweight” 

I should starve myself  until  I am decent enough  to be seen  differently 

It is only my irrational judgement convincing me  that 

I am okay. 

 

Now read the poem from bottom to top.