Before she could see the tears in my eyes, I turned and walked away, fuming. The certainty in her voice washed over me and drowned me in pain.
The shadow of voices followed me, lingering for a split second; my father reprimanded her for being too harsh and she emphasized how I must learn my lesson. I walked faster.
There’s nothing to worry about. She’ll come around eventually. What parent abandons their child? I thought to myself, trying to calm my shaking body.
Just wait and see, Allie. You’ll realize it was for your own good. For the briefest moment, pity drew a frown on her face. I caught a glance before she replaced it with a look as if she bit into a lemon. And with that, our relationship was brought to an abrupt and tragic ending.
As soon as the sounds of a light switch and soft snoring filled my ears, I tiptoed down the groaning staircase. A couple hours after our fight, I packed up the few belongings I wanted to keep. Ultimately, I chose the stuffed animal I had since I was 1, my favorite vinyl record, a couple pairs of clothes, my guitar, and my journal. I debated whether to stash food and toiletries into my leather luggage bag. No, you will not take from the people who denied you a place to live. Earn the money yourself and prove them wrong. Gritting my teeth, I took the keys and waited for the subtle click of a lock.
14
The sudden drop in temperature drowned me in sudden sadness. Once again, the thoughts came. Without my parents, I have nobody. What was I thinking? How would I survive like this? Releasing a cloudy breath, I stepped into the cold, night air. “The stars will guide me towards freedom,” quietly whispered to myself. “Towards home.” After an hour, the glow of suburban homes became specks in the distance. The soles of my feet ached, and my lips had turned blue, but there was no turning back. The destination was in sight, not more than a 15 minutes-walk away. I could feel my heartbeat pulsating stronger, faster until I broke into a run, luggage wheels rumbling behind me. The pain of sprinting could not mask the pleasure of freedom. For once in my life, all the doubts and thoughts in my head became wisps of smoke that floated into the midnight sky. For once in my life, my tears were of happiness. I felt lighter than I had in years, everything melting away as the promising rays of a sunrise emerged. Tell me, what would you have done if you were in my combat boots and skinny jeans? Would you have returned after realizing your dreams were hopeless? Or would you continue to chase them, never settling for anything less?
“Fine.” She straightened the wrinkles in her shirt. “You have made your decision.” She lowered her eyes to mine and whispered faintly so only I could hear it. “But don’t think you can come running back if you fail.”