순례자의 샘터 2016 Fall/Winter | Page 55

sence of love in my childhood. All I can think of is how I cried myself to sleep because I couldn’t understand why my dad was living with a woman who wasn’t his wife. Or how I stayed up all-night listening for my mom to return home from work to make sure she didn’t just get up and leave. I remember lashing out at my friends in anger with how lonely and frustrated I felt at home. I remember how I felt unloved and this memory has haunted me for the past nineteen years. When I left Cambodia in 2015, I knew that I had the heart to return one day. I hoped that I would be able to go back to Cambodia and serve at LIS again. I didn’t know that I would be able to go But I have made new memories. I cried with gratitude as I saw our leader eating the core of the peach after he had cut the best parts for our team. I was reunited with Sreypao, the little girl who broke and mended my heart last summer with her kindness. When I felt ready to give up and go home, I was comforted by team members who challenged me to be vulnerable and open with them. I found God’s love manifest itself in the people around me. back within a year later. Praise God, because he gave me another opportunity to go to Cambodia and a new opportunity to go to Korea! However, this trip was different from last year. I expected my experiences to be different. I was going to Cambodia with a new team and to be honest, I was nervous. I was nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. I was nervous because I feared that everything in Cambodia had changed. I feared that nothing would be familiar anymore. BUT, God reminded me that the purpose of going was not for my own satisfaction. God reminded me of His sovereignty over my life and over my fears. I had no need to be afraid, because God had a plan for us, even though And I was reminded (yet again) of who loves me and how much He loves me. So here I stand with the same heart as before: a heart willing and ready to serve God’s children by not only loving on them, but telling them, “God loves you and you we did not know what that plan was. will never forget it because I will always remind you.” In Cambodia and Korea, our team DID a lot of things. Some of us taught classes, some of us did maintenance Esther Yoo work, some of us prepared lessons, and some of us assist- Hello, my name is Esther Yoo. I am 22 years old and I ed teachers. But, today, I am not going to go into depth am a member of this church. I have been attending FKBC since I was in Pre School. Throughout my life, I have gone to various mission trips through our church, including a yearlong mission trip to Cambodia in 2014. of all the things we did. Today, I am going to talk about what God did in my heart. I had an incredibly blessed time in Cambodia and Korea and I really do believe God had a reason to send me there. The English Ministry of First Korean Baptist Church of Raleigh | www.livinghoperaleigh.org 55