БҚМУ жаршысы - Вестник ЗКГУ БҚМУ жаршысы - Вестник ЗКГУ | Page 304

БҚМУ Хабаршы №2-2019ж.
Aykorkem, which was born completely white and clean into this world,
contaminated by her environment, by mother of easy virtue, by gray eyes, by dirty
intentions:
“At night, a black cat and her kittens nibbled my bone, scraping meat from me.
When I fall asleep, I am afraid to look at this light world, having opened my eyes.
Every time when a black cat lambed, I collected water in an old bucket and
drowned it kittens over and over again, which had not yet opened their eyes. In the
spring a black cat pounced on me like a tiger, seeing how I kill its kittens, and
scratched my face and hands. The kittens, which lived no more than one day under
the verdict of the malicious man, had been dragged into the porch of the old house
one by one. The body of a small kitten, dangling in the mouth of a black cat, is still
in front of my eyes. I killed a black cat by hitting it with a shovel as it licked the
dead bodies of her kittens. Justifying my cruelty is a crime in view of childish
prank. Feelings of hatred for the mother who gave birth five from five men,
contributed to the manifestation of cruelty to the black cat, which lined up two or
three times a year. That day I swore to kill my mother, who bore us from various
oncoming men like a wild animal. A prostitute has no rights to reproduce offspring,
you know, no rights! A prostitute is born from a prostitute. Do you know that I had
an abortion twice when I was in the tenth grade?”
Why in this story Aykorkem kills a cat and its kittens? Because of hatred is born
from hatred. In order to feel good, a person must grow in caress. The writer brings
to us a catastrophic lack of caress. With the help of the image of Aykorkem, she
puts the question of the cruelty of man. Can you regret, can you blame, can you be
afraid of such a person? “Stalking a black cat” of Aykorkem is her inner
psychological opposition to her actions. Therefore you can’t blame Aykorkem. As
kittens became victims in her arms, she is also a victim of the flaws of necessary
caress.
“- Sorry, - she replied looking at the sky. – Forgive me. Sorry to hate you, but
loving you. Century… It offended my feelings. Sorry for wish death to the century.
Sorry to hate this bright world and the people around me. Do you believe in fate? -
she said igniting the cigarette.”
In the above passage it is evident that the young writer can deeply penetrate into
the human soul. Aykorkem is looking for solace in the single word "may be this is
a fate", not understanding why she was born so unhappy. Every writer can’t so
subtly describe conflicting feelings, struggling thoughts of a person. Of course this
is a benefit of a psychologist and of young writer who often goes deep into both
own and another's soul, who can understand the essence of the contradictions in a
person.
The second character, the narrator is the opposite image of Aykorkem. She is an
"ordinary" girl with not stained childhood, full of affection, shrouded by love.
From one side. However, if you look with the keen eyes of Aykorkem, you will
notice that the “narrator” is also an unhappy person. “The relationship between a
man and a woman personifies the relationship between a flower and a butterfly.
Have you ever seen a butterfly sit on a red flower that is visible from the windows
of high-rise buildings?”[2, 3 p.]. Aykorkem sees in her girlfriend a flower by the
window of a high-rise building. So, the higher it is then the lonely at this height.
Therefore, Aykorkem says: “I know that you are afraid of my essence, I am also
afraid of you, who is loving, but stifles the feelings...” [2, 10 p.] General in nature
women are divided into two types: going on about the feelings and able to restrain
303