BALANCE
Learning to Say NO
and NOT Feeling Guilty about It!
I
n today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to find
yourself over-committed and stressed out.
If your to-do list is as long as your pants’
leg, then you may have what some professionals call “need to please” syndrome or, as we
at ZOOM like to call it, an inability to say NO!
Why is it that a small word like NO can be so
hard to say? Whether you say “yes” out of guilt,
inner conflict or a mistaken belief that you can
“do it all,” learning to say no to more demands
can be one of the biggest courtesies you can do
for yourself and those you love as it reduces
stress levels, gives you time for what’s really
important and allows you to find more balance.
You Are Not a Bad Person
If You Say No
Hey, YOU … yes, you reading this … come
closer. Guess what? Saying no doesn’t mean
that you are being rude, selfish or unkind.
These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it even
harder to say no. The reality is that if you agree
to a request that you would rather decline out
of guilt, obligation or because you think others
will think you are unkind if you don’t say yes,
then you are likely to only feel stress, guilt and,
ultimately, resentment.
You Are NOT a Super Hero
You are unique, valuable and important. No one
else in this world can offer what you can, BUT
that doesn’t mean you have to do everything!
In fact, it means you need to learn to prioritize,
know where your attention, time and talent
would be most valued and, yes, say no to other
projects that perhaps would be better suited for
someone else!
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ZOOM Autism through Many Lenses
The Dos and Don’ts of a NO
So you finally understand why saying NO is
sometimes important, but how do you do it? No
problem. ZOOM is here to help. We are offering
some simple DO’s and DON’TS when it comes
to declining invitations for work or for play.
Follow these simple rules, and you just may be
on your way to a more balanced life!
DO:
• Do be direct! Straightforward simple
responses are the best.
• Do be polite. A simple “No, but thanks for
asking” can go a long way.
• Do remember that your self-worth does not
depend on how much you do for other
people.
• Do be ready to repeat. You may need to
refuse a request several times before the other
person accepts your response. When that
happens, calmly repeat your no as needed.
DON’T:
• Don’t apologize and give all sorts of reasons
for your declination. There is no need to do so
as long as you are being polite of course.
• Don’t lie. Lying will most likely lead to guilt,
which may lead to more lying in an effort
to not feel guilty, which leads to more guilt …
See how this keeps going?
• Don’t say “I’ll think about it” if you don’t
want to do it. This will just prolong the
situation and make you feel even more
stressed.
ZOOM Autism through Many Lenses
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