Big playground,
full sun. There
was nowhere
to hide from
the brightness.
form cliques and roaming groups. On the playground,
all structure and buffering was gone. Kids were basically
encouraged to go wild and burn off some of that energy,
making the social dynamics far more complicated and
overwhelming.
The primary difficulty—one that is an unfortunate reality
for many on the spectrum—is that I very much wanted
to form social connections. I just didn’t know how. My
best efforts to participate in games and conversations resulted in a long series of rejections. The anxiety was bad
enough, but these interactions also took a heavy toll on
my self-esteem. The lack of structure that characterizes
recess just made it too easy for me to drown in the chaos
of group play.
I also had a hard time managing my light sensitivities.
Big playground, full sun. There was nowhere to hide
from the brightness. Because of all this, I would frequently claim to feel sick and ask if I could just rest in the
classroom while the other kids played outside. It rarely
worked, but that didn’t stop me from trying. Any day
that I could skip recess was a good day.
If You Step on a Mine, Prepare for an Explosion
In a way, that was really the worst part, the fact that it
was so difficult to escape those moments. With lunch, for
example, I was never able to convince anyone to let me
eat alone in the classroom or in a hallway. I grew up in
the 80s. Back then, kids were expected to stick to the program. There was no willingness on the part of the school
to make exceptions for issues like sensory pain, since it
was invisible to everyone else.
Today, thankfully, I believe it is a little better in schools.
Ear muffs and headphones that help drown out noise
are a common sight in the lunchroom. Schools are making quiet rooms available to their students who may be
feeling overwhelmed or need a sensory break in a place
where they can hang out on a bean bag chair or listen
to music to calm down. Many schools are even adding
Buddy Benches to their school playgrounds (see Sidebar)
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