every time there is a transition, even if
you’re not consciously aware of it. You
don’t know what is coming next, and
you have to get your battle on. Even if it’s
something you’ve done a million times,
it’s not likely to be something without
danger because,
let’s face it, almost
everything we do
out in the world
has a barrage of
sensory information and feels like
overload even if
it’s something we
like—and it’s usually not. Our minds
are very good at
focusing on the small details and terrible
at the big picture. So, focusing from one
detailed activity to another means a lot of
change in focus and a lot of anxiety. When
you FINALLY get your mind focused on
doing something, having to stop and go
through all that again to do another activity can feel like murder, so no wonder we
like to hyper focus on one activity for a
long period of time.
Other people seem to have this built-in
understanding of so much. A built-in
understanding, for example, of how their
actions, thoughts, feelings will impact others. A built-in understanding of things I
can’t quite grasp yet but was always able
to articulate were
missing. How can
I tell you what’s
missing when I
don’t know what it
is?
Almost everything we do
out in the world has a
barrage of sensory
information and feels
like overload.
Kate Goldfield is a freelance
writer living in Portland, Maine.
Her writing has appeared in the
Baltimore Sun, the Autism Asperger Digest, and the Hartford
Courant. For more on her writing,
visit her blog, Aspie from Maine.
I know I need to
try to give myself
the enormous credit I probably deserve for somehow
coming up with this instead of chastising
myself for my way of thinking, doing,
coping and being as different from others.
My brain is autistic. It’s not going to work
the same way as other brains no matter
how much I want it to. I will learn that
eventually.
Do you have an informative story about what it is like
to be YOU, an autistic person, that you would like to
share? Send your 800 word or less first-person essay
to [email protected] with “Zoom-IN” in the
subject line for consideration.
Zoom Autism Through Many Lenses
23